Do I Need A Life Coach? > Grief 2 Growth

Do I need a life coach?

Isn’t hiring a life coach like paying someone to be your friend? The answer is yes and no. Like a good friend, a life coach will be a great listener. A good life coach will help you understand yourself and offer sage advice.

Focus

Unlike a friendship, a life coach will singularly focus on you. When you’re having a conversation with a friend, you expect reciprocity. You will talk about you for a while, and you will talk about your friend for a while. You don’t often schedule an hour with a friend that is all about “you.” 

When you pay someone to have a conversation, you feel more comfortable opening up and focusing on yourself. With a life coach, you can be “selfish” and concentrate on you.

Tools

Also, a life coach I have tools and techniques that your friends don’t have. These tools will help you assess you. Once we have figured out who you are and what you want, we make a plan for you to get there.

Accountability

As a third party, I can help you feel accountable. If you know you’ve got an appointment coming up with me and we’ve set a goal, you’re much more likely to achieve that goal knowing that I’m going to be asking about it.

Like a sports coach, a life coach will help you make a plan and execute it.

How we will work together

We will work together to assess first of all who you truly are and what you genuinely want out of life. Unless you have come to me for a specific topic like grief or small business consulting, there are seven primary areas of life that we will examine.

Framework

  • Assess what in your life is out of balance-  What needs more attention? What may be taking too much of your focus?
  • Examine your limiting beliefs- What beliefs might be holding you back?
  • Examine your Core Values &  Core Beliefs- We’ll determine what you want to achieve and what things are essential to you.
  • Set Goals- based on the above work, we’ll determine what your goals and strategies will be.
  • Make a plan- if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail. To get to your destination, you need a roadmap.
  • Work the plan- we’ll continuously re-assess where we are. We’ll look at what is working and what is not working. I will be your accountability partner.

I won’t promise you riches, finding your soulmate, or even happiness. Anyone who does is lying to you. Happiness is fleeting and dependent on circumstances. Fulfillment is what I will encourage you to seek.

What I will promise you is I will help you set achievable goals; which don’t rely on exterior circumstances. We will work to create favorable conditions, which will likely lead to money and relationships and all the rest. When Jesus said “Seek ye first the Kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added to you.”, what he meant was to change from the inside out. Do the inner work first. That is what we can control. Once we have done that work, two things happen. We learn to be content with our present circumstances. And, we begin to attract more favorable conditions to us.

More About Me

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These gray hairs in my beard didn’t come easily. I grew up with a depressive/anxious personality. I was traumatized by toxic religion. I was insecure caused by being skinny, a nerd, and being black in an all-white school system. I felt like I was always the outsider.  I was painfully shy. Fast forward a few decades, and I’ve been married for nearly three decades, had a couple of careers, and raised two beautiful children, I’ve taken all of those disadvantages and used them to help me grow and mature.

In college, I pursued a degree in Chemical Engineering, the toughest major I could think of. I’ve always been driven. Four years later, I had that degree and took my first job. At the first company I worked for, I was uncomfortable even answering the telephone and talking to strangers. Someone told me that to be successful, I was going to have to improve my social skills. I decided to transform myself. To make that change, I took a sales job with IBM. I was going to sink or swim. I was either going to learn to persuade people or be fired. After eight years with IBM, I left for companies where I could have more autonomy, finally moving to own my own internet company which I have run for seventeen years. I am a sole proprietor, along with my wife, teaching myself skills in web design, HTML, marketing, logistics, etc.

Because of the trauma resulting from the toxic religion of my youth, I studied everything I could get my hands on about religion and death. For about five years, my wife and I were premarital counselors, helping couples with marriage skills they got married.

Thanatophobia, excessive fear of dying, drove me to dive deep into spirituality and science and where the two intersect. I had to know where we go when we die, not to believe, to know. I have studied death and the afterlife extensively for over fifteen years. I have worked with many experts on death, dying, and what comes next.

In addition to volunteering on the SoulPhone project, for several years I have worked with Helping Parents Heal. I have attended conferences with experts on the afterlife. I have studied the Bible extensively, and have read several other religious texts. I find overlapping truth among all major religions. I have dived deep into scientific discoveries and research that are leading to science finally catching up with what theologians have told us for millennia, that consciousness is primary and that death is only an illusion.

When my fifteen-year-old daughter died suddenly in 2015, I was knocked for a loop, as any parent would be. Because of my studies, I knew that Shayna was still OK, still with us and that I would see her again.

I saw a grief counselor briefly. After three sessions, we came to the mutual understanding that I knew a lot more about my grief process than he ever could not having gone through what I went through.

In subsequent years, I have worked with hundreds of parents who are going through the same situation. I have worked with grief counselors. I believe that grief can be endured and that we can use our grief to motivate us to live our fullest lives. I know that, with the proper approach, we can move forward with the grief, not move on from the grief.

Part of my healing from grief, a significant part, is reaching out to help others. I co-teach for the San Francisco Theological Seminary. I teach professionals and lay-people.

Through a series of synchronous events, I found myself in leadership in Helping Parents Heal, an organization of approximately 12,000 parents whose children have gone on before them into the next dimension. I am the primary leader in Helping Parents Heal Online- at the time of this writing about 4,200 parents. In that capacity, I host meetings with parents all across the country, connecting them to spiritual healers. I also serve on the board of Helping Parents Heal. I volunteer time for the SoulPhone Foundation and Greater Reality Living and serve on the Board of the SoulPhone Foundation.

I am on a mission to help people know that death is not the end of us and that our loving relationships continue in this life and into the next, even when one of us is across the veil.

I was divorced, many decades ago. I know that trauma. My wife and I have been together for over three decades. We had two children together. I’ve been a husband and father for nearly 30 years and over 20 years, respectively. I’ve raised two beautiful, successful, kind, and compassionate daughters. My wife and I are active members of our local community and neighborhood. Since Shayna’s passing, we have extended our “family” to include many in the spiritual community who are committed to raising the consciousness of all we meet.

I will be frank. Recreation is an area of my life that has been out of balance, and I need to do better. Running a company, launching a new career, and doing the volunteer work I do has taken up too much of my time. My wife forces me to go on vacation and to take time off.

However, I make sure to get in my exercise. I find that when we are feeling down, we often don’t want to exercise which makes our energy levels even lower.  I take a seven-mile walk every day- spending time outdoors helps me clear my head, and I use the time to boost my spiritual and mental health by listening to music that lifts my mood; or more often to a podcast that feeds my soul.

When you’re in grief, it is of the utmost importance to stay on top of the health of your mind and spirit. After Shayna passed, I upped my game in terms of exercise. Seven miles a day is my goal. I meditate daily. As of March 2019, I have meditated over 800 days without missing a day. I read books that help uplift my spirit. I listen to podcasts that strengthen me. These practices have helped me survive the trauma that I thought would crush me.

As an entrepreneur for nearly two decades in a sole proprietorship with very few employees, I have learned to do it all. I built my first website on the Yahoo platform back in 2002. I have developed my product lines, making some products and sourcing others. I have developed a brand. I learned email automation. I have consulted with people interested in starting their businesses; brainstorming ideas and giving them the knowledge they need to get started. Over the years, I have found the best resources for things I cannot or do not want to do myself. I can point you in the right direction.

Some areas I can consult on:

  • Email automation
  • SMS (text) marketing
  • E-commerce platform
  • WordPress (I built this site)
  • Business brainstorming
  • Shipping
  • Advertising
  • Brand development
  • Product sourcing

My Résumé

Career

Engineering

I earned a B.S.  in Chemical Engineering from The Ohio State University. I worked as an Operations Engineer for Columbia Gas of Ohio.

Corporate Sales

I sold computer systems for IBM, Sun Microsystems, and a number of small independent resellers for nearly twenty-five years. I was trained in sales techniques by some of the best and was a top performer in sales and sales management during my sales career

Owner/Operator of Treasured Locks

In 2002, my wife and I started Treasured Locks, an independent hair and skin care company. I built our first website. As a sole proprietor, I have had to learn all aspects of starting up and running a business including e-commerce, shipping, online marketing, and advertising, email (several platforms), SMS or text marketing, etc.

Avocation

Pre-Marital Counseling

My wife and I taught couples marriage skills at the Vineyard church for several years.

Boards of Directors

I serve on the Board of Directors for the SoulPhone Foundation working with Dr. Gary Schwartz and Dr. Mark Pitstick, among others, to bring this exciting technology to the world. I also volunteer to support Greater Reality Living from a technical perspective helping with social media, the website, email communications, etc.

I am on the Board of Directors of Helping Parents Heal, an international organization of nearly 15,000 members around the world. Helping Parents Heal brings together parents whose children have passed into the spirit world. We provide hope, support, and comfort.

Volunteer Work and Consulting

I am an affiliate leader for the Helping Parents Online Group, a Facebook support group with almost 5,000 members. The online group brings nationally recognized leaders in healing and the afterlife to our parents via teleconferencing technology.

I work part-time for the San Francisco Theological Seminary in their Applied Wisdom Institute, as a technical assistant. In that role, I have co-taught Grief and Spirituality to grief counselors and pastors.

I consult for a celebrity medium helping them with his website, social media and customer service.

Got Questions? Comments?

It never hurts to ask. Reach out to me and ask me anything. If you’d like to know more about what life coaching can do for you, let’s have that conversation