Day 10- Trying to Process All Of This

July 6, 2015
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Woke up feeling pretty good. Actually made it out of bed without crying- a first. Decided to go for a walk. Gotta get back into the routine. But, when I got downstairs, I started to work on the Tumblr I’m using to document this journey. Did Shayna send this idea to me? Shayna didn’t like to […]

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Day 9- Grief Counseling

July 6, 2015
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Now that the service is over and I have a moment to breathe, it’s time to start trying to heal. Ty and I have decided since Day 2 that we are going to need help through this. There is no way I can do this on my own and even with the amazing support system […]

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Day 9- If You Love You Will Suffer

July 6, 2015
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Yesterday was Shayna’s celebration where 500-700 people gathered to celebrate the life of an amazing girl. The more I reflect on Shayna, the more I realize how blessed I am to have had her choose me as her Daddy. I went to bed with my heart full from all the support given to me, but […]

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July 5, 2015
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Mourning is selfish. Do it anyway.

July 5, 2015
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Grieving the loss of a loved one is inevitable. If you are human, you are going to have feelings of attachment to certain people and when those people are gone, it’s going to hurt. But, my Jewish friend said something deeply profound to me the day I told him Shayna had passed. He said “Mourning […]

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Day 8- Celebrate Me Home

July 5, 2015
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Today is the day that we share our Shayna with the world for the last time. Our hearts are ripped wide open, but we have to get through this. We want those who knew a little of the story of this very special girl to come away knowing more and being nearly as amazed as […]

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Planning a Funeral for A Child

July 4, 2015
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First of all, I would suggest simply not planning a funeral for a child.  Do not make it dim and dark and morbid.  Make it childlike. Let the service reflect the character of your child.  Shayna was a partier. Shayna celebrated every day of life.  Shayna liked for people to have a good time.  We […]

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The Idea of Cremation

July 4, 2015
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Someone asked: Brian, Did you have any friends or family members who were uncomfortable with the idea of cremation? We’ve run into that before with other family members who have passed. Ty’s mother (who has dementia) was appalled at it.  No one else expressed any concerns. We didn’t announce it (except that I’ve made it […]

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Day 7- The Eve of Shayna’s Celebration

July 4, 2015
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The good news is I don’t wake up to some terrifying thought. The bad news is I didn’t wake up. I didn’t sleep at all.  Yesterday wore me out so much I could not fall asleep.  Today will be tough. I have to finish the arrangements for Shayna Celebration of Life tomorrow.  It is not […]

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To Bury or to Cremate

July 3, 2015
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This is something you should think about before you die. Do your family this courtesy. But,my ou don’t expect to have to discuss their preference with your children. It might seem burial is the better option. No horrible images of your loved one’s body going up in flames. However, there are pros and cons to […]

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Day 6- Overwhelming Meetings

July 3, 2015
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Woke up sobbing as usual today. A cry first thing in the morning is the new normal. This time it was the realization that Shayna would become a “memory”. I don’ t want her to be a memory. Healing feels like letting her go. I can’t let go. I need to hold onto this pain […]

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Getting Grief Right – The New York Times

July 3, 2015
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Getting Grief Right – The New York Times The short answer is there is no “right” way to grieve.

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