July 10, 2015
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Expect that you will viscerally know in every one of your cells that there is somewhere you would rather be and it’s not here. Not alive. Not on Earth. It’s wherever they are. This does not mean you are necessarily suicidal, just that you would rather be with them. Laurie Costanza

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Day 15- The Call from the Funeral Home-Shayna is back with us

July 10, 2015
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It’s been exactly one week since Shayna’s Celebration. We went to the funeral home the next day so Kayla could say one more good-bye to what had been Shayna’s body. I say had been because Shayna departed that (beautiful) shell two weeks ago. We had Her body cremated and we knew this call would be […]

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Day 15- Do I Want to Heal?

July 10, 2015
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Today is a jumble of emotions.  My buddy who checks in with me at least once a day, usually twice, checks in first thing in the morning.  I’m feeling depressed, but I got up, got dressed and made it out the door to a breakfast meeting with a friend I haven’t seen in years.  People […]

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Day 15-Shayna Visits Kayla in  a Dream

July 10, 2015
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Kayla matter-of-factly tells Ty today that she has dream of Shayna several times since her passing.  I knew about the one the night before last when she came to our room hysterical because she, for a while, thought Shayna was back with us. What we found out today though is she had a very vivid […]

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12 Things to Know About the First Year of Grieving Someone You Can’t Live Without. ~ Laurie Costanza

July 10, 2015
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12 Things to Know About the First Year of Grieving Someone You Can’t Live Without. ~ Laurie Costanza

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Say Her Name, Please

July 9, 2015
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During the time when a parent has lost a child, it’s awkward for people to be around you.  Our society doesn’t like grieving people. We don’t know what to say. We don’t have any good rituals or social norms- especially for the loss of a child. There are no words.  There just aren’t.  People have […]

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July 8, 2015
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Shayna’s Prayer

July 8, 2015
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I wrote this for Shayna on the occasion of her birth. I felt her name had been given to us and I felt she had a mission in life.   Our Father in Heaven,We thank you for the precious gift you have given usWe thank you for blessing us with a second healthy child  We […]

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July 8, 2015
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Day 13- Death Comes Like a Thief in the Night

July 8, 2015
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Today is Monday, the first day we are going to try to get back to a full routine.  Kayla has to go to her lifeguard job all day.  Ty and I are going to try to get the orders out.  Ann is coming to help.   I manage to get myself out of bed after […]

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Day 14- Shock- The Incomprehensible Has Happened

July 8, 2015
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As parents, we all worry every time our kids leave our sides that they might not come back.  Yesterday I wrote about how Death stole into my house in the middle of the night to snatch my baby right out from under my watch.   People are telling us how well we are doing, but […]

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Day 14- Please Speak Hope to Me

July 8, 2015
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During these first, darkest days after the passing of a loved one, we are trying to find first, a reason and second, a way to go on.  We want to die with them. We know we can’t bring them back, but maybe we can go be with them. We pray to God, “Why didn’t you take […]

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