A couple of days ago my cousin made a Facebook post titled “I Ain’t No Ways Tired” the title of an old Negro spiritual. I replied, “Yes, I am tired.” This was the day after the verdict in the murder of George Floyd and the day after an officer shot and killed a 16-year-old Black girl in my hometown. I was exhausted.

The Uphill Climb

Then, yesterday happened. I took my morning walk and sat down to print out the orders from our website. The business has been dwindling. But, that’s OK, as I’m transitioning into the life coaching business. But, there were no orders to print. We had received 0 orders in 24 hours. Typically, we get 7-10 orders a day, down from the 20 orders a day we got at our peak. I immediately felt a rush of panic. What was happening? Just two days ago I sent a text message announcing a sale to 2,500 people on my text list. Two ordered. Two out of 2,500. That’s a paltry 0.08% conversion rate. My mind fixated on all the things going wrong. 

I had two coaching appointments for the week. My goal is 3-4 appointments a day. And those two appointments were with the same person. I got a reply to my automated follow-up emails that go out after my complimentary discovery sessions. A potential client wrote that she would love to schedule more appointments with me. She just can’t afford it right now. Why do I keep attracting clients who love to work with me but don’t have the money?

A few days ago I put out a call to 3,000 Facebook friends and 800 people on my business page asking for volunteers to evaluate my new guided meditation. Literally, not one person volunteered.

I felt all alone and the voice inside my head told me I should just quit. “Just give up.”, it said.“ “You’ll never be successful at anything. Everything is too hard. Why did I plan this life?” I wanted someone to talk to. But, there was no one. I had an appointment coming up with a client. I thought about canceling the appointment. I didn’t have the energy to try to cheer someone else up. I could barely keep myself going.

What Does Quitting Look Like?

But, what would quitting look like? What were my options? As always the only option was to keep going. As Churchill said, “When you’re going through hell, keep going.” So, I didn’t cancel the appointment. Instead of focusing on what was going wrong, I focused on what I could do at this moment. Instead of projecting into the future where I’d be living on the street, I set up a list of things I could do right now.

Triage

I put on my problem-solving hat. What would be wrong? Let’s investigate. The first thing I did was I got on Google Analytics to see if our website was getting any traffic. Traffic was fine. Actually, better than fine. We had over 1,000 visitors in the 24 hours we got no orders. I got on my website and placed a test order. It went through fine.  So, the website is up. The payment methods are working and people are finding me. Nothing else to do there. Next, I wrote an email and sent it to our newsletter list- 5,600 emails. I offered a flash sale for 36 hours only. A few minutes later, two orders came in. Two is better than zero. The orders continued to trickle in during the day. I guess I just had to prime the pump.

I kept the appointment with the client. It went fine. Then, I re-wrote the request for help evaluating my meditation. Within a couple of hours, ten people had volunteered. I guess the first post just went unnoticed for some reason. I thought the guinea pig image was cute. Apparently, no one else did.

Moving On

I put it all out of my head when Tywana got home from work. I had been too tired and distracted to make dinner. Getting out the meditation to the people who volunteered, re-doing that post, composing the email, etc. had taken up my entire day. So, she went out and picked up Chipotle for dinner. I had done what I could do. So, I set things aside to resume tomorrow.

The Dreams

But, the frustration followed me into my dreams. I was driving down a dark highway with no headlights on. I could barely see 10 feet in front of the car. Suddenly, I found myself in a tunnel that was too small for my car. I could head the walls scraping the paint off of both sides as I sped through the tunnel which turned into a roller coaster. We looped and dove in the car on this roller coaster in the pitch dark. I transitioned out of that dream into a dream where I was wandering around downtown Columbus (my hometown) trying to find the bus to take me home. I wandered into a restaurant where the owner offered to tell me how to get to the bus stop if I first introduced myself, individually, to all fifty people in the restaurant. I did so. Then, I found myself trying to walk home alongside the very busy two-lane road near my parents’ house. But, the road had no shoulders and about a 15-foot ditch beside it. And, my legs didn’t work. So, I was army-crawling most of the way. I was spent. Finally, about halfway, mercifully, I woke up in my bed and the alarm went off a few seconds later.

Then, it was time to get up and do this all again. So, here I go… I am tired. But, I will keep putting one foot in front of the other. It’s a new day with new challenges. I am tired. But, it’s one foot in front of the other.

Image by Leroy Skalstad from Pixabay

My dreams have been becoming more lucid. They don’t always make sense. But, I find myself, in my dream, questioning the reality of the dream. I’ve begun to notice when things in the dream state don’t add up.

In this recent dream, I was walking across a long walking bridge. There were several three-foot tall birds behind me and I think some people with me as I was walking across. I came to an escalator or staircase, I’m not sure which. Instead of stepping on the stairs/escalator, I grabbed the handrails and climbed up. There were people coming down at the same time. But, I passed right through them.

When I got to the top, I walked down a long hallway. At the end of the hallway, I entered a church sanctuary. Churches are common in my dreams because I grew up in the church my grandfather preached at. There was a wedding about to start. I knew that. But, I had no idea whose wedding it was. The sanctuary was packed. I remember seeing my mother, my Aunt Betty, and my sister among the crowd.

I made my way to find a seat near the front. It was so crowded the little girl sitting to my left was leaning on me and I was pressed up against the woman to my right. Then, it hit me that something wasn’t right. I started thinking back and realized I could not remember anything before I got to the bridge. I thought, “This must be a dream.” At that point, I was lucid in the dream. I realized I could do anything I wanted and it wouldn’t matter. But, I wasn’t quite sure. Everything felt so real. I looked up at the dark stained wood paneling of the church and was amazed by the detail in it. I felt the body of the woman next to me pressed up against me. I thought, “She’s not real. She doesn’t really have any thoughts. I’ve just made her up.”

Then, I realized I would be waking up soon because I knew when I become lucid in a dream, waking is not far behind. I looked at the wall and all of the colors around me began to de-saturate, they just faded until everything went black and I was awake in my bed.

When I woke up, the word solipsism was on my mind. I looked it up.

sol·ip·sism

/ˈsäləpˌsizəm/

Learn to pronounce

noun

  1. the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.

Solipsism is the idea that I can only ever know my mind and that my mind may be the only mind that exists. 

In my dream, I was amazed by the fantastic detail and the very real feeling that the dream world was real. I wonder if this world is also a dream, only a collective dream. I’m not a solipsist. I believe other minds exist. But, I really have no way of knowing that.

One of my favorite movies of all time is The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy goes on this great adventure and wakes to find the whole time she thought she was away from Home, she was in her bed. I believe that when we fall asleep in this life, we wake up in the next

Here’s a short video on solipsism. And, there’s a song I play when this world starts to feel too real to me.

 

Hush now, don’t you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You’re lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over
Or has it just begun?

I woke up this morning from a dream. But, it was more like a journey than a dream. Dreams are usually fleeting snippets, at least in my memory. This dream had no less than six location changes. It was partially lucid as in there was a moment when I realized I was dreaming as I found myself flying/hovering and I knew I wasn’t supposed to be doing that.

The dream was so involved that after I woke up, I took several minutes to review it so that I wouldn’t forget. As soon as I got dressed, I grabbed my voice recorder. It took 9 minutes to dictate the dream into it.

There was a lot of symbolism in the dream. I have no idea what most of it meant. It just felt significant. So, I wanted to capture it. Here it is:

Last night I had the craziest dream. I’m going to try to get it down before I forget it because it’s fading really quickly. It started off I was in church, my grandfather’s church that I grew up in. I was taking pictures with my iPhone. It was my red iPhone I have now but it was kind of like I was a kid. I was there with a bunch of relatives but they weren’t like immediate family members, except my mother and father. And we’re taking these pictures people were posing up on the the altar at my grandfather’s church. It was three steps up to the altar. So, it’s kind of like a stage.

People were up on the altar posing for pictures.. And I remember noticing there were weird reflections, which were really cool in the photographs, but I didn’t realize that they were physically impossible to actually be in real life. I was basically killing time waiting for my parents, which was really something I would always do and I was a kid after church until they finally finished talking.

We went outside and outside it was like a park. We had to walk across this big park to get to wherever we were going. So as I walk across the grass in the park, beautiful green grass, I noticed that there was flooding and I didn’t really want to get my feet wet. I couldn’t see a way to get around it. And the next thing I knew I walked out over the water, but I was actually hovering above the water about a foot. When I realized that I was above the water and I couldn’t go back down or my feet would get wet. I wondered how I was going to get across this water without getting wet. So I started moving my arms and it was almost like I could swim, I could push the air behind me and move forward. So I did that I get to the edge of the water and the edge of the park.

So I touched down on the street and I started walking. And I walked until I found like a huge house. It was the house I live in now. But it was five times as big. It was at least 12,000-15000 square I go inside the house and I realized we were selling the house. It was kind of like an open house. All these people were in it. I think I should look around even though I had apparently lived there for years.

I don’t remember, remember much about the first floor. I remember walking down to the basement. It was down a couple of flights of stairs to get to the basement. When I got to the basement, it was like a huge cavern. There were 20-foot vaulted ceilings. I remember thinking it was strange that the ceilings were so high in a basement. It wasn’t finished. There was no furniture. But, it was roughed in.

There was a big fireplace down there. But it was kind of like our house here laid out but again, much, much larger. I remember looking up and seeing a giant fireplace and chimney. could see what the fireplace was above in the family room. So I knew relatively where I was in the house compared to upstairs. I remember wondering why were moving. This place had so much potential and space that we had never used.

Suddenly, my brother was there with me, Brandon. But he was my son in the dream. Brandon is 11 years younger than I am. So it was kinda like he was a son to me when I was a kid.  I said, “Have you ever seen this part of the house?” and he told me he had explored it once. And then we realized there’s another flight of stairs down. So we take another flight down. There’s a huge library and it’s full of these old books, which I had never seen. I wonder how did these books get into our library when I didn’t know they were here?

We find another flight of stairs down, we take that flight down, and we’ll find ourselves outside in the backyard. I just look at the house on the outside and I’m looking at how many decks it has and it seemed like it didn’t have enough decks. It should have had more for its size.

We start walking, and then we come to this water and there’s carpet runner stretched across it. The runner is about six or eight feet wide. We were supposed to cross on this runner, but the runner was just laying on top of the surface of the water. It’s really really hard to navigate, trying to walk across this thin I ended up on my knees and Brandon was having trouble, so he was on my back. I’m trying to crawl across this thing with him on my back. I’m getting exhausted. I find myself on my stomach and he’s laying on top of me. And we’re kind of sliding off to the left side of this runner. I said to him, you’ve got to get off me because I’m really tired. If you don’t get off, we’re both going to fall in the water and we’re going to drown. If you roll off of me to the right, I’ll grab you and then I can pull you along. But I can’t do this with you on top of me. He didn’t want to get off. We do this for quite a while. He finally agreed to get off and he rolls off to the to the right side of me. We get across the runner we’re back on solid land and walk inside of another house. This is a much normal size house. There are all these people in this like family room and they’re all like going through obstacles like playing games. You had to finish the games before you were allowed to leave the room.

The last obstacle was a little tiny basketball a little smaller than a volleyball. And you had to throw up this little hoop. It was like the toddler basketball hoop. But I thought, that’s it. I’m done. I’m out of here. I’m not doing any more obstacles. “I’m just gonna crawl through this tunnel and get out.: The tunnel was impossibly small, about six inches in diameter. They were saying, “No, no, you can’t do that you’ve got to finish.” I’m said, frustrated and tired, “I’m not finishing, I’m going through the tunnel.”

I go through the tunnel. And I come out on the other side, and there’s like this kind of a swamp area, but the water was like perfectly clear. It was not perfectly clear it had a very slight blue tint to it. But it was really, really clear- just enough tint that you could see it.

I knew I had to swim across this water to get to wherever I was supposed to be going. So I’m swimming across the water. And I noticed it was really, really buoyant. It was incredibly easy to stay above the surface of the water. Swimming was effortless. There were these giant plants growing up from the bottom that were kind of like broccoli, but they were about 20 feet tall. So you could push off of those as you were going across this water. There’s a bunch of people, we’re all swimming across this water. We get to the point where the broccoli kind of stuff was gone. It was just the water itself. At this point, I had no thought of how far the swim was or if I could make it because swimming was effortless.

And we started going underneath, swimming underneath for water for a while and then coming back to the surface taking a breath. It was even easier to swim underwater, like scuba diving.

I realized we’ve been under for like a long time and there was no urge to breathe. I could stay under as long as I wanted without surfacing. It just felt great. The water must have been just about a degree or two below body temperature. It felt absolutely perfect, a little bit cooling, but not enough to make you cold and definitely not hot. And it felt bubbly, like swimming in Sprite or club soda. You can see like little tiny bubbles coming off your arms as you moved them. The water was illuminated from within with a gentle light. I remember thinking I had never felt better.

We’re swimming along and I spot my mother, who I caught up to. I’d fallen behind everybody when I was trying to carry Brandon. I started thinking, “We’ve been under this water for a long time. And I haven’t been breathing.” So I took a breath. I just breathe in the water. And I realized I could breathe the water. I was weird. It didn’t feel like air. It didn’t feel that cool and kind of feeling you get when you breathe in air. But, I could breathe. It was a choice. You could choose to breathe or not breathe. It was kind of comfortable to breathe. I was telling people, “You know, can breathe the water. It’s okay.” And so people start slowly trying to breathe the water. Then I also realized I was talking to people telepathically. We weren’t moving air with our larynxes. We were underwater. So we continue swimming along. I think of Brandon’s behind me. He’s still finishing up the obstacles back in the house we were in. I knew it’d be okay. I knew he would catch up. And I was with my parents and some other people that I recognize and we’re just swimming along. I saw some neighbors, a couple, and they were holding hands. Everybody was just like, excited and feeling great and I felt better than I’ve ever felt.

We get to a point where it’s hard to describe it the water ends. It’s like a wall of water and there is the air on the other side. We looked through this portal of sorts. we realized it was Cincinnati. I think that’s pretty cool, we’re back on Earth and even in Cincinnati. We pop through the wall. We’re not wet at all. The water didn’t make us wet. We’re perfectly dry and comfortable. There was this big street fair going on. I saw a place called Eli’s barbecue; which I’ve never been to but I know it exists here in Cincinnati. We saw people walking around. There was this weird vibe though. I felt out of place. I thought I should have heard music. But, it was eerily quiet with all of these people. I realized I didn’t have to walk I could float. So instead of walking, I was just hovering like I’d done over the water in the park earlier and I spotted my cousin Tracy from behind. I went to touch her on the arm and I touched her on her elbow with my finger and I and she didn’t turn around. I said, Oh, that probably just felt like a little tiny feather to her. I knew that I would have to touch her really hard for her to feel it. I don’t know why I thought that but I thought that. So then I grabbed her elbow in my hand and squeezed it. She turned to see who had grabbed her. She looked right through me as if I was invisible. I realized she couldn’t see me. I got a buzzing feeling in my body. It was as if I was de-materializing. I woke up, in my bed.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

It’s five minutes before eight. I’m supposed to wake Shayna up at 8 o’clock. I can’t wait. I’m excited to see her beautiful face. I’m going to wake her early.

I walk downstairs. She’s sleeping in the basement on a pull-out couch. I think it’s my parents’ house. I look down. She looks so peaceful sleeping that I hate to wake her. She’s about five or six years old.

As I look at her, her body is suddenly very different. She looks like ET. She’s an alien. She’s not green She’s an off-white color. I get the impression that I’m seeing her real form. I wonder if other people can also see her this way. I realize her form doesn’t matter. I don’t love her body. I love her soul. An overwhelming sense of love for her and gratitude comes over me like a wave. I’m grateful that I can have her in this form or any form or no form at all. Because I know she’s not supposed to be here.

Then, her skin becomes like glass, completely transparent, and smooth. I can see her inside her skin. The color is that color of the glow-in-the-dark figures we had as kids, off white. I look at her brain. It’s completely smooth. I think, “That’s not where her mind is.”

There’s a time jump. I see Shayna, awake now, nuzzling a baby, full of life and happy, back to her standard form. She’s joyous.

I wake up.

I’ve really got to use my imagination

To think of good reasons

To keep on keepin’ on (keep on keepin’ on)- Gladys Knight

 

Imagination- what do you think of when you hear that word? My friend Kat Baillie and I had a little debate about this. Kat is an amazing professional medium. For her, imagination is pictures in your mind; only pictures. For me, my imagination extends to all senses. 

The conversation started because I have had mediums tell me they work primarily in a realm where they feel the mediums feel they are imagining what they are getting. Since there are several “clairs,” as the mediums call them, this would be limiting if it were only pictures- that would be clairvoyance. Mediums often work with multiple senses, sight, sound, smells, even just “knowing.” 

Different States of Consciousness

Mediums work in different states of consciousness. I have to say that there are different types of mediumship- mental mediumship, trance mediumship, and physical mediumship, to name three. When I made my comment about how mediums work, I was talking about mental mediums, which are most familiar to most people. However, all mediums are different. They get their information in various ways.

Now, let’s go back to mediums and working in imagination. Imagination, for me, is not limited to pictures at all. For me, in my imagination, I can hear voices. For example, if I’m reading a book by someone I know, I hear the book in their voice. It’s not audible, as if they’re in the room speaking to me. It’s that voice inside my head when I’m thinking; only it’s in their voice. I can imagine how a strawberry tastes. I don’t taste it on my tongue. But, I can recall it. I can imagine I’m eating a strawberry and have the remembrance of the rough seeds and smooth innards on my tongue, the tartness mixed with the sweet.

This is about different levels of consciousness. We are talking about objective versus subjective. When I say “imagination,” I’m referring to something subjective; as in when we have a thought- something we clearly know is “in our head.”

Dreams versus Imagination

As we were talking, we got onto the subject of dreams. I brought it up because the dream state is, for me, beyond imagination. It’s not subjective.

I had had an extremely vivid dream the night before. I had driven downtown. I parked in a garage and was walking somewhere. But, I forgot where I was going and I had no idea where I was. I remember grabbing a light pole next to me because I felt dizzy. I felt the pole in my hand. I felt my feet on the pavement as I rocked back and forth. I could feel pressure in my toes, then heels. In the dream, I was rushing through a doorway; a guy was coming in the other direction. We brushed into each other. I felt him, as our shoulders touched. I heard him tell me to watch where I was going. The dream experience is objective. I felt as if everything was coming in from the outside “real” world. At this point, the dream went lucid. I realized that since I was so dizzy, lost, could barely walk, and had no memory of where I had come from or where I was going; I must be in a dream. However, even when I realized I was dreaming, the dream Brian had no conscious connection with the Brian back in bed. 

When we are imagining, at some level, we are still aware of the connection to our bodies. When we hit the dream level of consciousness, it’s as if our dream self is independent of our physical person. We feel things, we hear, we see, as if with our physical organs.

Where Is the Real Self?

You could say the body is necessary to sustain the dream self. But, the dream person is not aware that the body in the bed exists. When I was in that dream, even when it became lucid to the point I knew I was dreaming, I didn’t know who Brian in the bed was. I knew he existed. But, I couldn’t feel him. Is it possible that we are in a dream state now with our “real selves”, our higher selves safe somewhere while we are here?

To Be Continued

So what? These are just early morning musings, as in something that struck me in bed at 4:44 this morning. Kat and I are going to have a conversation about consciousness and mediumship on my podcast. Maybe we’ll get some more clarity and help people understand how mediumship and consciousness work.

 

I find myself standing on a ledge. The ledge is made of ice. It’s about six feet across. As I look down, to the icy water below, I see it’s 30-40 feet down. I’m in a pit that’s several hundred yards across. I look up. There is a sheer rock wall going up about 15 feet.

There is a woman in the water, doing a meditation practice I presume. She’s wearing a one piece black bathing suit and keeps going under and floating there. I noticed the water has chunks of ice in it. It must be freezing. But, I’m perfectly warm. I’m looking for a way out. I can’t climb the cliff. It’s straight up and rock. I can’t climb down, the iceberg I am standing on is also a sheer face.

I will have to jump. I can survive the fall. It’s higher than I’m comfortable jumping from. But, it’s not going to kill me. My concern is the cold water. Will I be able to swim to share in that frigid water?

How did I get here? I didn’t climb up. Did I jump down? Why would I do that? And why can’t I remember? As I look up at the sheer wall above me, Then, it dawns on me. This is a dream. I remember that if you find yourself in a place and you don’t know how you got there, it’s a dream. Easy. I’ll just wake up.

As I take my eyes from the wall back down to the water, I realize the scene has shifted.  It’s no longer 30-40 feet to the water; it’s several hundred feet. And the water isn’t water anymore; it’s a city block. It’s concrete. Now, there is no jumping off. There is a guy across from me on the same ledge which is no longer ice, but rock. I see him leap.

Down and down and down he goes I wonder if he’ll disappear as he wakes up or if he’ll hit the ground and splat. What happens to him will determine what I do next. He strikes the ground feet first. His knees buckle. His hand touches the ground. Then, he stands up and walks away.

I’m going to jump… And, then I wake up. But, I wake up in another dream where I am telling people about how lucid my dreams have become.

 

First thing, I had a dream about Shayna last night. It felt a lot like a visit. I had heard she was around. But, I hadn’t seen her. I was with Tywana and Kayla in a large church sanctuary and I was on my way out. I looked over and Shayna was sitting there in the pew directly in front of Tywana and Kayla. I went over to her and told her how good it was to see her. I don’t think she spoke. She was a little younger than she was when she passed, probably around twelve years old or so. I was able to grab her face and kiss her on the cheek. I told her that I couldn’t wait to see her again. Just as I said it, I realized the irony as I was seeing her and holding her at this moment. I knew this was temporary, but I don’t recall knowing it was a dream.

Something strange is happening that I don’t have a name for though. It’s not precognition. I don’t know what is going to happen. If this were happening in a movie or a novel, I guess it’d be called foreshadowing. Things like having a dream of my mailbox being knocked down and the next day on my walk finding a mailbox knocked to the ground. Listening to someone talk about a sign they would get from their daughter being a stranger stopping them and saying they knew her daughter and less than half an hour later, a stranger I had never met stopped me and told me she knew Shayna. This seems to be happening more often.

Yesterday, I was walking and listening to Russell Brand’s podcast. I was trying to recall a television character who is indecisive. I was having trouble coming up with the character. Then, it dawned on me. It was Chidi from “The Good Place”. I can’t remember why I was even trying to recall this character. But, I thought of him yesterday. Also, yesterday, as I was listening to Russell Brand, he read comments about a prior episode I had decided I was not going to listen to. The title had something to do with porn and I wasn’t all that interested. Based on the comments about the episode I downloaded it and decided to listen to it today. Near the end of the episode, the guest asked Russell if he had heard of the American television show “The Good Place”. I thought: “That’s odd. I was just thinking of ‘The Good Place'” yesterday. Then, out of all of the characters on the show, he mentioned Chidi, the indecisive college ethics professor. His point is that Chidi reminds him of himself.

Dr. Gary Schwartz, who I have the privilege of working with, in a peripheral capacity, is obsessed with synchronicities. I started to do my Gary analysis. How often do I think of “The Good Place”? Well, not that often. It’s in hiatus right now. Chidi is my favorite character on the show. So, my thinking of him, in particular, isn’t that surprising. But, what are the odds the next day I would listen to a podcast episode where the guest mentions “The Good Place” and Chidi? And, what does it mean, if anything? What are these coincidences even called?

 

 

In case you can’t read the above it goes like this:

Irene: As I’m reading Brian’s post in the car “wondering where the lions are” by Bruce Cockburn is playing…….Check out the lyrics

Brian: OK. This I really weird. The night before last, I had a dream that a bobcat was stalking me.  I don’t ever recall dreaming anything like that before.

Irene: “Sun’s up, huh, looks okay. The world survives into another day. And I’m thinking about eternity. Some kind of ecstasy got a hold on me. I had a dream about lions at the door. They weren’t half as frightening as they were before. But, I’m thinking about eternity…”

Irene: Graceland played before this so I guess it’s safe to say the kids are with us?

Brian: As it (the bobcat) came at me, I was backing up toward the door wondering if I could make it inside before it pounced. “I had another dream about lions at the door” is a line in the song.

Irene: Holy crap!  Love when the girls work to get a message to the right parent.

Ty: Wow… so connected

Irene: Rich girl playing now! That’s Carly laughing.

Brian: Yeah. I woke up thinking “That was a weird dream.” I also dreamt a pack of dogs was approaching me, in another dream. But, I distinctly remember that bobcat dream.  I’ve never heard that song. I’ll have to play it.  That is so crazy.

Irene: It is amazing!!!!! Thinking about eternity.

Ty: It really is. Peaceful.

Brian: Which post were you reading? 

 (time goes by)

Brian: Look at what Jamie Clark posted 13 minutes ago. About the time we were talking about this.

Irene: Your blog about the reading with the new medium.  And Brian I was nudged to tell you about the song… So crazy and awesome.

I’m in a mentoring/coaching group to help me develop my business(es). It’s a peer group led by a coach. As part of the group, we each pitch our business to the group to hone our pitch and to get feedback on our offerings. Today, it’s Anne Marie’s turn and she’s talking about her service of helping people connect to their Akashic Business Council, a group of spiritual advisors we each have. I’ve never heard of the Akashic Business Council. So, I’m intrigued.

Cue tonight’s dream. In my dream, I am meeting with business advisors/consultants. They keep asking me the same question over and over. It’s something to do with an email that I had sent out. They’re asking me if I included an element as a variable or as a constant. I keep telling them I can’t remember. I’ll have to check when we get out of the meeting. They continue to give me nonsensical advice. I end up getting so frustrated I tell them that if they don’t move on or start making sense, I’m going to have to fire them.

That’s when I realize they are Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute from the TV show The Office.

I sure hope this wasn’t my Business Council. A buncha clowns.

p.s.- Anne Marie tells me it’s not uncommon to get that connected right away and maybe instead of them being clowns they are trying to get me to look at things from a different perspective.

Tywana and I watched Standoff with Laurence Fishburne last night. I’m a huge fan of Laurence. In this movie though, he plays the role of the villain, and one of the worst villains ever. He’s a contract killer after a little girl who witnessed one of his murders. A man that the girl has never met before takes on the responsibility of protecting the girl from Laurence’s character, thus the standoff.

Every time I see a movie with little girls it reminds me of my girls. I deeply identified with the role of the guy playing her protector. At one point in the movie, this is just hours after they had met, she gives him a big bear hug and I remembered what those were like.

Maybe that’s the trigger for the dream I had. Tywana and I were working in a nursery taking care of babies from infants up until about the age of two. Tywana works the church nursery once a month. In fact, today is her day to work in the nursery. Tywana kept giving the wrong children back to parents. She would see a parent come to pick up a child, just grab a child and hand it to the parent without matching the parent to the child. Why the parents didn’t realize they had the wrong kids, I do not know. At one point in the dream, a little girl around the age of two, hugged me around my neck and said “I love you.”

We got the kids all sorted out and it was time to go. We were in a huge building and I guess were parked on the other side. It was a nice day out so we took the nearest exit and walked around the building. As we walked, we talked about finances, what we had been through, and how things were slowly getting better. People were passing in all directions. Just then, I spotted Shayna walking with another little girl going into the building. Their path took them across our path. Shayna was about eight or nine years old. Her hair was in ponytails the way Tywana used to style it. She had on a blue denim dress. I know it had a scoop neck because, as she passed us, I saw from behind she had her name tattooed vertically on her back.

I turned to Tywana and I said “There’s Shayna. This is the first time we’ve seen her together.” I knew were in a dream and Shayna was “dead.” As she passed Shayna looked at us, smile and said two words. “Thanks again.” And the dream ended.