There are bad days and there are worse days. There are no good days. There are days when I can fake it. There are days when I can even mask it from myself. People think I’m strong. People think I’m resilient. Reality is I’m a pretty decent actor. My life, in a very real way, […]
Category: My Mood
Day 754- Not Guilty
We don’t need to add guilt on top of grief. It’s not easy, but it is simple to release the guilt. First, we all die. Every single one of us. The difference is when and how. Death isn’t a tragedy. It’s something we know will happen when we come in. Second, I believe that we […]
Day 747- A Long, Hard Day
I wake up in a funk today. There are just those days when I wake up like this. Nothing in particular has happened. I’m tired (emotionally) every morning. But, physically, I’m ready to get up and get into the things I need to get done. Today, I sleep in until nearly 8 o’clock. I decide […]
Day 743- Never Say Never
The other day a friend was going through the third anniversary of his mother’s passing. Anniversaries are hard. Birthdays are hard. Holidays are hard. Every day is hard, but these are particularly hard. Why is that? What he said struck me. He said he would never spend another night with his mother. Two words […]
Day 737- Where Does The Time Go?
if i could have a pound for every moment i’ve spent worrying about the little things in life that frankly there’s no hurrying then i would be a rich girl, i wanna be a rich girl soon but going at this rate i think that it may well take ‘til there’s life on the moon […]
Day 734- Baa Baa Black Sheep
After your child makes their transition, it’s quite possible you will feel like the black sheep of the family. Several years ago I heard “If you think there are no black sheep in your family, you’re probably it.”. There’s one in every family. I am the black sheep in my family. Shayna’s passing didn’t exactly […]
Day 731- 06/24/2017- Two Years
Today is the day. It’s the two year anniversary of Shayna’s transition. It’s a day I’ve dreaded and a day I’ve looked forward to putting in my rear view mirror. When I meet parents who are multiple years out from the passing of their child, I’m jealous. I’m in the two year club now. The […]
Day 727- Father’s Day
I made it through another Father’s Day. I never imagine that holidays would one day become something to endure rather than to look forward to. Father’s Day has always been a bit awkward for me anyway as I don’t feel comfortable being celebrated for doing what I feel like I was put here to do, […]
Day 722- Suicide
Through early morning fog I see Visions of the things to be The pains that are withheld for me I realize and I can see That suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it if I please That game of life is hard to play I’m gonna lose […]
Day 713- HPH June Meeting
This entry will be short and sweet. We are ten months into our local Helping Parents Heal meetings. It looked like we were getting some traction over the winter with some regular attendees who said things would probably pick up in the spring when the weather got better. We had some Compassionate Friends leaders who […]
