People often ask why those who have passed on don’t communicate with us more. A common experience is communication will start out almost non-existent. This may be because we are too deep in grief to receive it. Then, communication will increase. Often then, communication starts to wane. Signs slow down. People often ask if their departed loved ones have forgotten about them. Perhaps they’ve moved on to a place where they can’t communicate with us. It can be frustrating and it can be disheartening. We still long to hear from them and we can feel left behind.
Victor Zammit put this into the best analogy I’ve heard to explain why this might be the case.
“I think a good analogy (for the experience of one’s own death) is what would happen if you moved to another country to attend the best college in the world doing post graduate studies in an area you have always long to specialise. For the first few weeks you might phone home frequently, especially if you knew your family was missing you. But, as they adjust to your being away and you become immersed in your studies, you know that it’s just a short time until your end of term break when you will all be together again.”
This has been my experience with Kayla being away at college. Her freshman year, we talked nearly every night. I would at least text her to say goodnight and I love you. As she’s finishing up her fifth year, we don’t talk nearly as frequently, but we look forward to her trips home.