Day 1235- Away At College

People often ask why those who have passed on don’t communicate with us more. A common experience is communication will start out almost non-existent.  This may be because we are too deep in grief to receive it. Then, communication will increase. Often then, communication starts to wane. Signs slow down. People often ask if their departed loved ones have forgotten about them.  Perhaps they’ve moved on to a place where they can’t communicate with us. It can be frustrating and it can be disheartening. We still long to hear from them and we can feel left behind.

Victor Zammit put this into the best analogy I’ve heard to explain why this might be the case.

Victor said:

“I think a good analogy (for the experience of one’s own death) is what would happen if you moved to another country to attend the best college in the world doing post graduate studies in an area you have always long to specialise. For the first few weeks you might phone home frequently, especially if you knew your family was missing you. But, as they adjust to your being away and you become immersed in your studies, you know that it’s just a short time until your end of term break when you will all be together again.”

This has been my experience with Kayla being away at college. Her freshman year, we talked nearly every night. I would at least text her to say goodnight and I love you. As she’s finishing up her fifth year, we don’t talk nearly as frequently, but we look forward to her trips home.


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One Comment

  1. This is really perfect. I absolutely love Victor’s analogy here.
    This was my experience both when Christina left for college, and when she left for another level of consciousness. My connection with her tonight was REALLY strong and intense, but this doesn’t happen as often as it did a couple of years ago. There was a time, for nearly a year, where I felt a a thin, invisible cord, actually connecting us and we carried on a daily dialogue.
    Thanks too for sharing your additional time with Rev. Panagore, though I completely understood the first time.
    As always, I appreciate reading your insights, thoughts, and struggles. It reminds me that this journey is brutal for all of us, different for all of us, and filled with hope and love.
    Cheers to you and Ty!!