Victor Zammit’s analogy about the afterlife hit home for me this weekend when Kayla came home to visit. We don’t talk as much as we used to. But, we look forward to those times when we do. We have a tradition of Brian/Kayla weekends dating back to when Tywana and Shayna would leave us for Shayna’s sports. While the four of us got along great, we have different relationships one-on-one. Choosing a movie with the four of us was virtually impossible. While Kayla and I would watch just about anything, Tywana would veto about 40% of the movies and Shayna another 40%. Tywana didn’t want anything too scary or with too much action. Shayna didn’t want anything remotely connected to any romance or anything shot before 2000. Kayla and I would breathe deep sighs while these two tried to find something we could all agree on. OTOH, when Kayla and I are together, I’ll say “How about this?” And, she says “That sounds good.” Kayla can appreciate a classic movie, a scary movie, a philosophical movie. We like movies that make us think and prompt discussion. So, I’ll keep a queue of movies just for those times when we are alone. This weekend we watched the classics Fatal Attraction and The Machinist, discussing the mental illness of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction and what caused Michael Douglas to risk his nearly perfect marriage for a weekend fling. Then, we talked about the acting chops of Christian Bale who went from 173 pounds to 110 to play Trevor Reznik in The Machinist and the torture of mental illness brought on by extreme guilt.
Brian/Kayla weekends aren’t only about classic movies. We stay up late and discuss philosophy, child-rearing (she’s a nanny), politics, religion, the afterlife, and relationships among other topics. We both prefer to have a nice meal at home to going out. So, I make special dishes for her. We decided on scallops for Saturday. Instead, we had Korean BBQ for the first time for both of us on Saturday since Costco didn’t have scallops this weekend. She appreciates nicely spiced food. I froze some of the chili I made for the chili cookoff a couple of weeks ago, because I knew she’d appreciate the hot chorizo and chipotles that give it a little kick. Ty and my neighbors said it was so spicy. Ty could only eat a couple of spoonfuls. So, I kept the rest for when Kayla was coming home. Kayla and I had it along with cheddar & jalapeno cornbread. Afterward, I asked her to rate it on a spiciness scale. She said she’d give it a 4 or 5- not super spicy. That’s my girl. It reminded me of the time she was about two years old and my mischievous neighbor gave her some spicy potato chips. He expected her to spit them out. Instead, she asked for more. After the chili, we watched The Machinist and baked some chocolate chip cookies
I love Kayla’s sensitivity. She worries about me being alone. So, when she heard that Ty was leaving for a girls’ trip, she planned time to come spend the weekend, just the two of us. Ty thought she was joking about coming because Thanksgiving is in less than two weeks. Plus, she likes being with her old man, which makes me very happy. Ty and I always were parents first, but we also wanted to be friends with our girls. I’m so grateful for the bond between us.
Brian/Kayla weekend is over. She’s in the car on the way back to Toledo. This old man is happy. And, I get to see her again in just 10 days for Thanksgiving break. Yippee!
It sounds perfect. I’m not a dad, so I can only speak to it on the daughter side, but some of my most cherished memories are of the rare times I got my daddy all to myself. Oh, the conversations. Thanks for this sweet post. Makes me remember my dad in the best way.
Sounds perfectly awesome!!!!