Day 1321-Dreams

Last night’s dreams were fascinating. My dreams seem to be becoming more vivid and more lucid. After the worst Super Bowl in history (literally), I came home and watched a little TV before turning in. The only saving grace of the Super Bowl is we won $50, winning two quarters of the pool. I can’t recall the exact order of the dreams. There were three. In one dream, I was in a mall walking past a shoe store. I went into to look at some running shoes. The guy working in the store just went into the back and brought out a pair before even asking me what I was interested in. Then, he proceeded to try them on himself, all the while talking incessantly. The shoes came with built-in orthotics which he said were necessary if you had ever had foot surgery. He said that clearly I had not had foot surgery. He was boring the hell out of me. I had to leave. But, I couldn’t just walk out. That’s when I realized I was dreaming. I could just leave the dream/wake myself up. I wondered how he’d react to me disappearing in front of him. Frankly, though, I didn’t care all that much. I tried leaving by simply willing myself out of there. But, as I was pulling out of the dream, I could feel him energetically sucking me back in. Telepathically, I told him “Dude, you have to let me go” and I escaped.

In the dream I will relate second, I was back working for IBM, my first sales job out of school. I often dream of being back at IBM. In this scenario, I was checking into a seminar. I didn’t know what my job was. Just that I worked there. After checking in, I realized I was a speaker. There was a video game that everybody was playing. But, the game was impossibly difficult. I had become an expert at the game. The game involved being able to solve puzzles/mysteries. As part of the game, you had to come up with words or phrases that were answers to puzzles. People were hanging on my every word. As I was taking notes during a presentation before mine, my notes were being projected where everyone could see them and people thought they were the answer to the game. I had no clue about the game. I was going along. Since they told me I was an expert, I had to trust that I was having had no memory of ever playing. They wanted me to give a demonstration. I had to believe that when I got on stage and the game was turned on that I’d know what to do.

In the final scene, I’m at an awards ceremony for the girls. It’s swim team. Both of our girls swam for our local club. Shayna was a naturally gifted athlete- strong, powerful, smooth, and effortless. But, she hated being on swim team. Kayla loved swimming. She didn’t have the athletic ability of Shayna. But, she worked her ass off. One year, each girl made most improved swimmer in their respective age brackets. In the dream, the parents were wearing t-shirts with the kids’ names on them. Tywana was wearing one for Kayla and I was wearing one for Shayna. The kids came out to get their awards. All of the parents and kids were mingling around and Shayna approached Tywana and me. This is when I realized this was a dream and Shayna was “dead”. I ran over to her. Usually, when I see her in a dream, if I’m lucid, I have to be very careful to not get too excited or I’ll wake myself up. This time not worried about waking myself up because it has been a long time since I had a lucid dream visit from her. I grabbed her and hugged her. I started kissing her face, her forehead, her cheek, her chin. Then, Tywana said “Shayna, we love you so much. And, we miss you.” I looked deep into Shayna’s eyes. I could see right into her soul. It felt wonderful to see her again. Her eyes began to tear up. I could feel sadness welling up in her, I think identifying with our sadness. Some say that once we cross over, we cannot experience negative emotions. I don’t believe this. I think we can experience “negative” emotion when we identify with the suffering that is still going on here. She said “I miss you too, Mother.” Shayna typically called Tywana “Mommy”. Every once in a while, she would ironically call her “Mother”. The dream ended. I woke up grateful for the visit, but with tears in my eyes.

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