Day 138- I Can’t Get Home

I find myself in a hotel conference room.  The meeting has just adjourned and finally after several days we can head home. I can’t wait to get home.  Whenever I have to travel for business all I can think about is getting back home to my girls. I leave the conference room headed back to my room upstairs to pack and get to the airport.  As I leave the conference room I realize the only way back to the lobby to head upstairs is to go around the outdoor pool. The pool is massive- at least an acre in size and I have to walk the entire perimeter to get to the entrance to the lobby. The problem is the pool is completely enclosed by a wall and the lip of the pool is only about 3-4 inches wide. The water is lapping up over my shoes as I walk around it getting my feet wet.  I have to flatten myself against the wall to keep from falling in.  Why did they design this this way?  It makes no sense.  As I get to the third wall of the pool I see it’s up against a row of windows to rooms where guests are staying. I pull myself along using the windows, but some of them start to come open and people stare at me thinking I’m trying to break into their rooms. I give them sheepish looks and just keep moving.  A waitress walks up behind me headed from between sections of the hotel.  She is walking easily (I have no idea how). She’s carrying a tray of food.  We talk about what a stupid design this is. She doesn’t know why it’s this way either.  I let her pass because this is taking me forever.  Finally I reach the entrance to the lobby. I’m relieved.  Now I can head upstairs, pack and head to the airport.  

When I get to the lobby it’s full of people.  Then I notice what’s strange about the lobby. The floor is carpeted, but it’s like carpet stretched over a body of water. Walking is nearly impossible and exhausting as my feet sink with each and every step.  My legs are growing heavy. Finally I decide to crawl.  I’m crawling along and I look up and see Aunt Betty sitting there (Aunt Betty passed away about 3-4 weeks ago). She greets me. She tells me that I look exhausted. “I am.” I tell her. She says you’ve got blood on your pants. I look down and there is a 4 inch gash on my inner thigh. i must have caught a nail somewhere around the pool. There’s blood everywhere, but I don’t feel it.  I look at my other leg. The knee of my pants is completely worn through. These were brand new pants that I had only worn once or twice before and I really liked them.  I press on.

I finally make it through the lobby and am crossing another little outdoor area to find the stairs up to my room.  I run into some people who were attending the same conference. I ask them when they leave to go home. They’re in no hurry. They’re staying another night. They might leave tomorrow. They might stay the weekend.  I say “Well, I can’t wait to get home. I’ve got to get upstairs and get packed and catch my flight.”. Then it hits me. I have no idea what time my flight is, what airline or even what airport it leaves from.”  I’ve also forgotten my room number. All I can remember is it’s on the third floor. i decide to head up and see if anything jogs my memory.

I get to the stairwell. Each flight up seems like a mile long. As I make each landing, I stop and look up.  I can do this.  But, I don’t know what I’m going to do when I reach the third floor. I cannot remember my room number for the life of me. I think my flight is around 7pm. That sounds familiar.  I look at my watch. It’s 5pm. I haven’t even packed. There is no way I’m going to make it.  At long last I reach the third floor. Then, I wake up.

My stomach feels horrible.  I feel completely full, but it’s as if it’s full of something undigestible. It doesn’t hurt.  It just feels dead- like it’s stopped working.

This is a common dream for me. The details change, but the theme is always the same.  I just can’t make it home. 

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