As part of my continuing way of re-examining the world based on evidence as well as “faith”, I am trying to verify as much as possible by experience. The experiences of others are all well and good, but personal experience is best. While I believe and that Shayna is better off where she is and is still connected with us, I’d prefer to know. To that end, I reached out to someone about mediums. He asked me to participate in a certification process he is doing and I had the reading the day after Kayla’s birthday. Here are my detailed notes from the reading. I will also post the audio. I believe that Shayna was there and had several messages for members of our family- including aunts and cousins.
The reading is part of a
certification process. There are strict
rules. The medium only knows my first name.
I only know her first name. No
phone numbers were exchanged. I dialed into a conference call service. The
third party who set up the meeting knows me and is aware of my blog.
The skeptic in me has to
consider all the ways the experiment or the medium could cheat. The medium has
no way at all of cheating without the experimenter’s cooperation. The
experimenter is not in this for financial gain. He literally gave me copies of
his books at no charge. As far as I know he has no financial incentive to
certify mediums. And if he were going to cheat there would be no need to go
through all of the trouble of setting up the readings. There is no incentive for him to cheat.
Each medium has to do five
readings and knows they are being scored on an objective scale. So, in addition
to the pressure of being scored, they are given a disincentive to guess because
they’re being graded on a percentage of correct answers. This could make the
medium feel restricted in giving information freely, especially anything that
is a “weak” connection.
I found out about the meeting last week. I have been praying for my spirits
guides and Shayna to show up for a few days.
I meditated for half an hour before making the call. The medium and I
are both nervous. This can’t be easy.
The medium and I are trying to connect in spirit. My only clue about her is I
think she is probably on the West Coast because the scheduling options I had
mentioned Pacific time.
We call into a conference call
service and she records the conversation.
I am to give only yes and no answers. I am to volunteer no
information. She doesn’t know my name,
my age, my family status. Nothing at
all, not even my phone number.
A reading with a psychic
medium is kind of like three way charades from what I understand. Many mediums
don’t get direct dialog or even words. They get pictures or symbols. They will
then either try to interpret that symbol or give it to you literally. At least
three entities are involved, the sitter, the medium and the person on the other
side. This is a complicated process and is prone to errors and interference.
I’m trying to give the medium as much positive energy as I can without giving
anything away. I’m trying to be open, but I can’t give her any information.
In summary, during the session
she connected with Shayna to my satisfaction.
She gave a lot of general things that could have fit a lot of people,
but she also gave specifics and the general things added up to fit Shayna very
well. Shayna was getting messages through
for different people- an aunt, a cousin or two and a lot for Ty, Kayla and
me. She went about getting Kayla’s
birthday (the day before) three different ways.
We do introductions-first
names only. She tells me how the process will go and then she starts the
These are my notes from the
call. I took handwritten notes and typed them up later. She has sent an audio recording of the call
which I then reviewed to add more detail to my notes.
She starts off telling me she
is feeling pressure on her third eye which is someone coming through. She says
it’s like someone is knocking.
She feels a female presence.
Very determined. (hit) (word corrected by Shayna to
Persistent. (Same as determined? hit) CORRECT
Would move mountains for her
family. (hit) (CORRECT)
Tried her utmost and her best.
Gave it her all in life. Gave 100% (hit)
Two things- making her feel a
walk or run. (My first thought was Shayna participated in the Leprachaun Lap for her
Girl Scouts Silver Award. As I thought
about this overnight I realized that I run/walk every day and not all of the
information is about Shayna. This might be about me. I spend 90% of the time I’m on the walk
thinking about Shayna and communicating with her. I often cry or smile on these
walks. Right after Shayna passed I joked
with her that she would have to come with me now. I always teased her about coming with me when
she was here). (hit) CORRECT – BONUS
Something with the number 9 (I
can’t make a connection to that). The month of September? (Miss.
As I thought about this overnight and put it in the context of the call
maybe this was a reference to the trip we took to Colorado in September. The
medium said 9 might be September) INDETERMINABLE
Athletic in nature. Going for
brisk walks in shorts (hit) CORRECT
Asks me if I can connect with
a female in spirit like that. (yes)
She tells me when I said “yes”, the spirit put her
hands out and said “Yay!”
Enthusiastic. Compassionate. (hit)
Could be outgoing, sociable,
fun, empathetic (all true) CORRECT
Whole embodiment is living
life to its fullest (hit) CORRECT
On my same level? Sibling, spouse, friends? (miss- no) INCORRECT
You do understand the walking
or running or exercise? (yes- exercise). And you do understand optimistic and
Getting an “E”
connection as a name (hit- Shayna’s middle name is Elayne. Kayla’s middle name is Elyse).
Gonna write down the name and
say it when we’re done with the test.
Had a lot of friends. (hit) CORRECT
Enthusiastic about her friends
(hit- she LOVED hanging out with her
friends and she had a crew that was as close as sisters) CORRECT
Having trouble determining her relationship to me .Says she is not getting this from Shayna but “Is this
your daughter?” (hit). It felt like a friend on my same level. When I
said “no”, she wondered who else was so enthusiastic about this. Says the enthusiasm made her think we were on the
same level. CORRECT
Coming through with
Showing pom poms, rooting,
football. Something to do with cheerleading? (miss- but we will circle back to
this because it keeps coming back. Maybe
a misinterpretation.) INDETERMINABLE
Would you understand her love
for animals?- showing a dog (big hit. We
have two dogs. Shayna LOVED them. Shayna
also wanted to be a vet and volunteered at the zoo) CORRECT- BONUS
Real love for animals. Soft spot for animals (hit) CORRECT
Is this the person you most
wanted to connect with? Then, we will
spend time trying to get more from her.
Would you understand a
hospital bed with her. (Shayna had four
surgeries over her last four years) CORRECT-
Would you understand her head
being damaged? Saw a wrap on her head (miss) INCORRECT
Give me a moment to get a
stronger connection with her.
Shes’s making me feel like my
biggest memory she leaves with me is her huge smile. Seeing a beautiful huge
smile When you look at pictures and when
you see her. And I think she’s talking about a particular picture. (hit- we
just put two poster sized pictures of Shayna in the foyer and I say good
morning to her every morning as I exit the bedroom). CORRECT- BONUS
Shayna says I’m happy. I’m happy where I am.
I would like to get some more evidence for you..
Do you understand the name
like Elizabeth or Elise or an “El” name. (hit- Shayna’s middle name is Elayne. Kayla’s middle name is Elyse. Also, her favorite cousin Briana has the
middle name Elizabeth There is another connection to Elizabeth we will circle
back around to). CORRECT- BONUS
Some of this stuff we’re not
going to be able to validate. Something
about the test. I want to tell you what
she is saying.
Getting rose either the name
or something with rose. (hit- Shayna
loved rose perfume and her great grandmother was Emma Rose. She told us we
should have named her Emma). CORRECT-BONUS
“She has such a beautiful
beautiful light about her”. (hit- she doesn’t know Shayna’s name literally
means Beautiful Light and that is the name of the blog I write for
Shayna is more concerned about
others than herself. Tells us don’t
worry about her. “I’m fine. I’m worried
Asks if Shayna had a brother.
Getting concern from Shayna toward a younger male she was sisterly toward. (I cannot confirm this. Couldn’t think of anything at the time. As I thought about this overnight, I felt
like Shayna was telling me this is Adam). INDETERMINABLE
Mentions that normally when she works with people it’s a three way conversation. This is a new way of doing it. It’s a little hard. Doing my best to get the
information from her. She’s trying hard to get information through to you and
I’m trying hard to understand it.
Would you understand the name
Tony or Anthony? (no- miss. I can’t even stretch
to get to this one. I’ve been thinking
about this more. Given that Tywana wouldn’t be in her lexicon of names, I’m
wondering if it’s Tywana) INCORRECT.
Bringing us to a park. Park setting or huge backyard. Picnic bench.
Birthday party or gathering.
Could be a memory or a recent thing. (I’m going to say hit since she mentioned birthday. The park threw me off, but Kayla’s birthday
was yesterday). CORRECT
Getting a cat as well as a
dog. (I can’t verify a cat. The only one
I can think of is Sunshine, a neighborhood cat from several years ago. The
girls loved playing with him. Maybe
Shayna has a cat now?) INDETERMINABLE
How can you connect to the El
name? So I tell her Shayna’s middle name
is Elayne and Kayla’s middle name is Elyse.
She’s talking about braces. I
don’t know if that’s for her or for her sister.
(hit?- Kayla had them. Shayna had
perfect teeth. Didn’t need them.)CORRECT
Bubbly and talkative. Not
getting her age. I don’t’ know how old she was when she passed. CORRECT
Very sociable and talkative.
Had a lot of friends (hit- Shayna was
extremely popular). CORRECT
Piano. She sees a piano followed by a feeling of
diligence. (hit- this is interesting. I bought a piano for Shayna a couple of years ago
after she begged and begged to get it.
She never put in the effort to learn to play it. I would bring this up often. This might relate to something she says later
about being determined. The diligence the medium felt might have been the
diligence Shayna used to get me to buy the piano) CORRECT- BONUS
Another name- Chris,
Christopher or Christina (doesn’t mean anything to me. I have a friend named Chris, but this is a
common name) INCORRECT
I’m gonna call her Elayne it’s
her middle name and I don’t know her first name and maybe she’ll give it to me.
It also feels like when she
sets her mind on something it was almost like relentless. She is focused and
determined. She never gave up on things
she wanted. This was fine with things we wanted too, but if it were something
we didn’t want her to have she never gave up then either. It was like “Oh my gosh, you’re so stubborn”.
(hit- see above with piano. Also with
Shayna cutting her hair.) CORRECT
On the things that were more
of a butting of heads. She says
“Sorry Dad”, but it’s a 75% sorry.
Sorry she pestered me, but she really wanted what she wanted). Mentions
butting of heads, but she always knew we loved her.
I’m going to give you one more
name. Getting a K-a name Katy, Kathleen.
Do you understand that name? (yes) CORRECT-
How do you connect with that
name? (hit- I tell her Kayla’s name).
She had a sister named Kayla
and a sister named Elyse? (no-I verify Kayla’s full name).
So, she’s referring to her
Asks if Kayla was the one with
braces (hit) CORRECT
She says I won’t be able to
verify this next thing. Well, maybe…
So she comes to her sister
through her dreams. She says that is really a visitation. (big hit- Shayna has been visiting in very vivid
dreams- more like visions. This is
documented on my blog, but the medium didn’t even know my name before this). CORRECT-
She tells me that she is very
close and protective of her sister. I
ask for clarification and this is where I let Shayna’s name slip. She tells me
Shayna is now watching over Kayla. She wants Kayla to know she is her
protecting angel. She wants Kayla to be bold and fearless in life. She wants Kayla to go through life joyfully-
not reckless, but Shayna is watching over her.
Back to cheerleading (still
not a hit. After our conversation after
the call, I think her seeing girls jumping that she interpreted, as
cheerleading might have been volleyball.
Cheerleading kept coming through) INDETERMINABLE
Back to the hospital. She feels Shayna’s passing was quick. The end was quick. Would you understand the
suddenness of it? Suddenness. Too quick for people to have time to respond.
(hit- VERY quick. Shayna died at home in her bed, but we rushed
her to the hospital where they worked on her for over an hour before
pronouncing her. It was sudden and totally unexpected. She hadn’t even been
sick.) CORRECT- BONUS
We’re in November. Thanksgiving is coming, but she’s getting a
turkey leg. Is there something else significant about November? Birthday? Anniversary? (hit- Kayla’s birthday is November 22, always
right around Thanksgiving. It was yesterday.
This might relate to the park thing earlier and birthday. Our 25th wedding anniversary was November 3rd).
This is very strange. Would you understand something about Asia. I’m
being led to maybe Thailand. (No.. I
don’t understand that.) Ok, so what I’m seeing is those little statues. You know those little Buddha statues? Could be as simple as someone has one of
those statues. That took me to Asia Someone has a Buddha statues. OK. So she’s
showing me a Buddha statue and I’m trying to make it more than it is. Is that
in your home? (yes) Is
that something you got after her
passing? (I have a meditation altar and I bought a Jizo (Asian statue) and
Weeping Buddha for it. I also bought a Buddha that is on the deck. Three
Buddhas total. All bought since her
passing. (hit) CORRECT-BONUS
OK, so that’s her way of
saying she is here every day. Mentions a rocking chair. Knows those are common
she knows, but she says Shayna sits in it and if we see it rocking, it’s Shayna
in it. (hit- the rocking chair is in our bedroom. Ty sits in it almost every day to meditate
and read). “It will rock on its own.” CORRECT-
Tells me Shayna is around us
all the time. She sees life around us. She’s with us every day. When you’re taking out the garbage she is
with you. She is in the car with
us. In every waking moment she is with
us. She can see, hear and feel us. We
can talk to her. We can even think to
Trying to get more evidence.
Getting another name.
Michelle, Michael, Mikayla (hit- I
didn’t recognize the name Michelle. Ty’s sister is Shell (short for
Michelle. but I did think of my Uncle
Michael when thinking of people who might come through. ). CORRECT
You have really pretty names. They’re
not in my data bank. (I had told her I didn’t recognize Michelle)
Mentions gymnastics (miss). Came up three times now and I kept pushing it
back (again- maybe this was volleyball) INDETERMINABLE
Would you understand that she
had to have a procedure done on her?
We’re in the hospital on the operating table. (hit- Shayna had four in
the last four years). CORRECT
Did she pass in the hospital?
(hit?- she was pronounced in the hospital. Died at home?). She is showing me she is above. Watching
everyone around her when she passed. Trying to understand that. CORRECT
You said you understood the
rose. How do you connect with that? (I tell her about the perfume and Emma
Rose- her great grandmother and Shayna’s wish to be named Emma).
Did she wear glasses? (hit- Shayna wore glasses or contacts. After she
passed and on the advice of another medium, I put her glasses on my meditation
altar. They are there with the Jizo and one of the Buddhas. Now she has hit on two things on my
meditation altar which I set up after Shayna’s passing). CORRECT-BONUS
Going back to surgery. Sees bright light of operating room. It was a little scary. Shayna was brave on the outside, but scared
inside. Used her smile to comfort people.
Didn’t express how scared she was.
It was hard enough as it was. Didn’t want to add that.. CORRECT
Toucan- sees an image of
toucan- (hit, but Shayna worked at the zoo.
I didn’t recognize, but when Kayla heard she said the toucan is Jordan’s
favorite animal.). CORRECT
Make-A-Wish? (At first I thought not a hit. Maybe Victoria? I don’t know.
After thought, this might have been not the Make-A-Wish foundation but
make a wish for Kayla’s birthday yesterday.- hit- another reference to Kayla’s
birthday yesterday. ) CORRECT
Also showing me a necklace of
significance. Maybe a chain with a
little something on it. (hit- Ty got a
pendant of Shayna’s thumbprint after her passing) CORRECT
Lots of bracelets (hit- Ty was
given several bracelets after Shayna’s death.
Also, the girls had bracelets with “Play for Shay” made to
wear in her honor for the volleyball team. This would be LOTS of bracelets as I
think everyone on all three teams wore them.).
How do you connect with your
dad? One of the ways she connects with you is through song. She loves to put a smile on your face. She is always thinking of ways to put a smile
on my face and in my heart. (hit- Shayna
loves music and we did connect through music. I will often become inspired to
listen to certain songs that speak to our relationship. I maintain a playlist of songs to play to
remind me of her).
Loves to do things to put a
smile on my face. Still thinking of ways
to put a smile on my face and in my heart. (hit) CORRECT
Shayna has some tears in her
eyes. Didn’t want to be brave. Inside
she was holding it together for everyone.
Do you understand the name-
Robert- (hit- my uncle. His wife, my Aunt Betty (Elizabeth name
mentioned earlier) passed a few weeks ago) CORRECT-BONUS
Shayna tried in school She tried to please me. (hit- she was an
amazing student) CORRECT
She kept things to herself. When
she had a bad day at school or was feeling a little bit down she kept it quiet,
inside herself. We might discover things she wrote down somewhere. She didn’t share everything verbally. (hit)
Keeps showing me this kite.
The second time. Fly high like a
kite. Just an image of a kite. (this
connected for Ty and Shayna always wanted to fly) CORRECT
Something else. I’ll tell you
after the test. I don’t want to get docked (understandable)
Someone else is coming
through. Someone who smokes. Ashtray like when you travel. Older style.
(could be hit- Ty’s father). CORRECT
Hospital gown. Shayna has put a hospital gown on the medium
and she is walking down a hallway. Tells
me about tonsils. Maybe not hers.Tonsils,
throat, adenoids? (hit? Kayla
did just have a bad throat infection and they mentioned spots on her tonsils,
but no surgery or procedure.) CORRECT
The connection is not as
strong as I would like it to be. It’s no
fault of your daughter’s. Nervous about
being recorded and all that (I understand).
Airport or airplane. Trip. If
we are going, Shayna is going with us. If we have gone, she was with us. Asks
if we traveled in November. Now, she gets more specific. Past trip. Very
recent. (hit– we went to Colorado (and we rarely fly the last time was five years
ago) in September (not November. Also
Shayna had flown just three days before she passed.) CORRECT
Kaleidoscope- just the word.
(can’t make a connection)
Mentions the name Michelle again thinks that will come to me later. Actually it does. Ty’s sister (very close to Shayna is named
Michelle. I forgot because we call her
We end the official evidentiary
session and just talk. Now I can talk freely. As we’re talking Alyson gives the
following. She says this feels more natural and more is coming through. We’re both more relaxed.
Did she write on herself? (YES! Shayna and I butted heads about this
(playfully). I always asked her why not write on paper? Alyson says she likes
Shayna’s creative handwriting, which is a good way to describe it.)CORRECT- BONUS
Shayna enjoyed reading books.
Would dive in. Sees a hard copy of Where The Wild Things Are. Did we go to the library? (All huge hits. Shayna LOVED to read) Says she is still reading. Had a list of books
to read. This is also true. CORRECT-
Mentions a swimming pool.
Shayna was on swim team. Didn’t like it.
But, she had a lot of friends there.
We review some things. I think we figure the cheerleading might have
The medium saw girls
jumping and thought cheerleading. Maybe
girls jumping was volleyball.
She tells me Shayna says there
is nothing she would come back and change. All the things we taught her she got
to take with her.