Day 163- Counseling

A couple of days ago a concerned family member suggested I try to find a counseling group in the Cincinnati area.  After a major loss, I recommend counseling. I have been in counseling in the past and it’s been very helpful. There’s no shame in counseling and it’s not something I would hesitate to do or suggest.

Immediately after Shayna passed Ty and I had counseling as a couple and I went for three sessions on my own. We attended a group together and Ty went alone. All were helpful to varying degrees.  I agreed with my one-on-one counselor that he had done all he could do for me.  We came to the same conclusion with the counselor we saw together.  As for the groups, I didn’t find them particularly helpful.

I get plenty of counseling now.  Blogging is therapeutic and cathartic for me. I have to filter somewhat since literally the entire world can read my diary, but for the most part I just let it flow.  Conversations that stem from my blog posts help.  I have friends who are counseling me almost daily.  

For me, I think I’m at the end of where professional counseling can help. I appreciate the suggestions from friends and family and keep them coming. I know so many people would do anything to take away my pain and that thought alone makes it somewhat more bearable.  But, we live in a quick fix society where we think there has to be a solution to every problem.  There must be a pill or something a counselor can say or a technique to make the pain go away. We’re not supposed to suffer after all.  We’re supposed to be happy. 

Nope.  Sometimes we just have to suffer. We have to go through it. There’s no way around it. There’s no short cut.  There is a long, slow, uphill climb.  It’s uncomfortable to watch someone making that climb. We want to shoulder some of their burden. We can’t. We can walk alongside. We can offer words of encouragement. We can offer them a place to rest along the road, but we each have our own crosses to bear.  Ultimately, we bear them alone.