I am reading one of the best books I have read on the afterlife right now. I’ll review it soon. The author, a 29 year old, has a really good grasp on the afterlife, one I wish I had had at his age, but I came across something last night that is just pure poppycock.
The author cites a psychologist who thinks that grief may not even be necessary if we only have a strong enough believe in the afterlife. George Bonanno has proposed a “resilience” model that seems to indicate we can avoid grief altogether if we simply have a full understanding of the afterlife.
I’m here to tell you no. After many years of studying NDEs and 8 intense months of studying all types of afterlife evidence, listening to mediums, etc. I can tell you there is no way around grief no matter what you believe. Dr. Mary Neal was given all the answers to why things happen to us and how it all works out in perfect order in her NDE. She was also told her son would precede her in death. Ten years later her son died. Even with the knowledge of where he was, knowing his death was for the best and having seen with her own eyes where he was, she mourned him. Mediums who lose loved ones grieve. And you would think mediums could just “dial them up” anytime. No. Mediums go to mediums.
I believe in the afterlife with about the same confidence I believe that man went to the moon. There’s a possibility it didn’t happen, but it’s a minute possibility. I have studied so much evidence on the afterlife, the only thing that could make me more confident would be hands on experience. I know Shayna is in a better place. I know I will see her again. Belief mitigates grief. But, belief does not and will not ever eliminate grief.
Think of this way. Your loved one, your child, moves to Australia. You know she’s OK. She’s left you a note. But, you know you will not see her again for many, many years. You can’t FaceTime, you can’t text, you can’t Skype. Maybe once in a while she tells a third party to pass a message along to you (a medium in this analogy), but you will not have direct contact with her. This is what we who believe in the afterlife go through when we are grieving. Only it’s worse. While we have confidence we will see them again one day, we have no earthly idea how long the separation will be. We do know they can’t come to us, we must go to them. We will not see them in this flesh again.
Yes, Cyrus (the author), I am tracking right with you when you say belief can help. Belief is the only thing keeping my feet planted on this planet right now, but it’s delusional to think that if we just understood the afterlife enough or believed enough we would not mourn. Sorry, bro.