When I’m searching for a title for my posts, more often than not what comes to mind is a song title. If you’ve ever seen Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, you have some idea of how my mind works. A thought comes up, followed by a song. Thanks to the magic of Apple Music, I can now have any song I want playing within seconds of thinking of it. Today, it was Eminem, “Cleaning Out My Closet“. I’m doing some spring cleaning. That song came to mind, but just because of the title. The lyrics weren’t what I am trying to express. It’s really dark. So, I shelved it. Keep reading if you want to see what synchronicity occurred after that.
What Prompted This
I’ve been going in three directions at once for the last year. A year ago, I took an opportunity with a startup software company that I like. There is potential for huge growth. They’re Australia based and I’m on the only one outside of Australia on the team, my title, “North American Lead”, which is a lot loftier than it sounds.
This made a total of no less than three things pulling on me every day. Since Tywana’s back at work full time, I’m running Treasured Locks alone. I’m getting the coaching business off the ground and creating courses and doing speaking engagements. I find myself always stressed feeling something is going undone whenever I’m going one of the other two things.
What I’m Throwing Out
For the last several months, I’ve realized the software gig is not my passion. It’s too much like my old sales jobs of cold calling, begging for appointments, being stood up, etc. And, it’s an hourly gig with not nearly as many hours as we had agreed to upfront, which means I could not simply drop Treasured Locks and keep the income. I’ve wanted to quit for a while. But, there were two things holding me back. 1. ) It’s a steady income and 2.) I’m a people pleaser. I dreaded telling the guys I was leaving them without anyone to cover this time zone. I’ve been a hustler since I was 27 years old and got my first sales job. I’ve always been chasing the next commission, the higher paying job regardless of how “fulfilling” it might be. To turn down income, any income goes against my nature.
Finally, I realized I needed to do something different. I needed to create some space in my life. A couple of days ago I put in my notice with the software company. I had my last client appointment this morning and it feels glorious. Immediately, I began calculating what I would have to do make up the income I’m giving up. But, I’m 60 years old and don’t really need to make it up.
Why I Know It’s Right
And, as always happens, something comes along to confirm my decision. I had a client appointment this afternoon and was advising them on making more space in their life. I was able to use myself as an example. If I expect the coaching business to grow, I need to make space on my calendar for it to happen. I need to free up energy to put to it. Not just in terms of effort, but in terms of intention.
Setting An Example
As a coach, I’m constantly pushing my clients to take care of themselves. I’m increasingly disappointed in our society as I see people running themselves ragged making time for everything except themselves. Asking people for 15 minutes a day for self-care is too much. No matter how appealing and easy I make it, people push back against taking time for themselves.
Where I’m Going
I recently finished a 7-week intensive program to improve mental fitness. You’ll be hearing a lot more about this as I’ve signed on to be a teacher. The thing about the program that makes it “intensive” is it formalizes taking time for self-care every day, several times a day. It could be as little as a couple of minutes at a time. But, so many of us in the program complained we could not find the time to do it. No, you’ll never find the time, you have to make the time.
So, this is what I’m committing to today. I’m recommitting to my self-care practice. I think it’s absolutely essential. A couple of days ago I heard about this product: NOW Tone Therapy System Suzanne Giesemann recommended it. It’s going to go great with the PQ Rep practice I’m doing as part of the coaching program as it’s a timed three-minute timeout I can take several times a day.
Here’s The Magic (footnote added day after the original post)
I wrote this on a Friday afternoon, planning to post it on Monday because I already had a post for Friday. Saturday morning, as I took my walk, I listened to “Cleaning Out My Closet”- the original song that came to mind for this post. I love Eminem’s sound. But, his music isn’t exactly uplifting.
Who is uplifting is Macklemore. So, instead of listing to more Eminem, I asked Siri to play some Macklemore on shuffle for me.
A few paragraphs up, I used the word glorious to describe how I was feeling. Glorious is not a word I use often. I can’t recall when I used it last. You’ll note, I highlighted the word in the post. Well, guess what Macklemore song Siri chose. That’s right, “Glorious”
Here is the chorus, but listen to every line of the song. Here are the lyrics. It’s amazing. I listened three times this morning.
I feel glorious, glorious
Got a chance to start again
I was born for this, born for this
It’s who I am, how could I forget?
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
Now I feel glorious, glorious
I feel glorious, glorious
They don’t make you who you are
Can’t pack up a U-Haul and take it with you when you’re gone
We posted on the porch, my family’s glasses to the stars
My grandma smiling down on me like woo, that boy got bars
Okay, okay, yes I do
I said amen and hallelujah, let me testify too
Another morning, a morning, don’t let self get in my way
I got my breath, I got my faith and I remember why I came