It’s dawning on me that Kayla is all grown up now. Yes, technically she’s been an adult for a year and a half and she is finishing her second year living 200 miles away from us, but financially we still help her out and she was home pretty often. She’s taken the car back to school now so she can come home when she pleases. She’s facing a lot of life stuff now. She has a boyfriend, her roommate is getting married and Kayla is the maid of honor. She’s making mistakes (she wouldn’t want me to air them on the blog). And, we talk less and less. She doesn’t ask for my advice much, as it should be. Her life is her life to live and as much as I’d like to live it for her, give her advice- hell I’d just like to take over for her, that’s not my place anymore. She lives 200 miles away and most of the decisions she makes now I don’t know she’s even made until (and unless), she chooses to tell me.
I remember several years ago watching an commercial for an insurance company where a new driver gets behind the wheel of the car and asks her Dad for the keys so she can drive off by herself for the first time. This was before Kayla was driving, but I knew it was coming up soon. The Dad looks at the girl and sees her has a six year old sitting behind the wheel. “How cute” I thought at the time. Poor guy. His little girl is all grown up, but I still have my girls. Wow. How quickly things change.
Ironically, being a parent wasn’t something I considered much when I was younger. Even when we got married, I didn’t think that much about it. It was three years into our marriage when Ty brought up having kids and another three before we actually did. I resisted the responsibility. I was selfish. I wanted to live for me. I didn’t want to have to sacrifice for someone else- other than Ty. I didn’t see what having children would add to my life. I felt no need to procreate and make mini-me’s to leave behind to the world. I was so incredibly wrong. I could not have been more wrong.
Oh well. She’s all grown up now. She’ll be done with school in a few weeks and returning here but it’s going to be a busy summer. She’s working two jobs this summer. I don’t know how much I’ll get to see her, but you can bet I’m going to steal every possible moment I can because soon, too soon, she won’t be coming back here between school years and it makes me sad.