Day 298- Til Death Do Us Part

‘Til Death Do Us Part

For whatever reason or reasons, most relationships in my life have been temporary. From time to time I think about it and it bothers me a little. I went to seven different schools before I graduated high school. I don’t have any friends from childhood, none from college, in fact only one from before I was married. I have a few friends from years ago who live close enough to get together with, but we don’t do it. When we bump into each other we pay lip service to getting together, but we don’t make it happen.

When we get married we say “’Til death do us part”, but I couldn’t even make that work. My first marriage ended in divorce. This one I’m confident will end in the death thing though. I have wished friendships would be like this, Til death do us part, but they haven’t been for me.

My birth family is not close in the sense of talking often or in depth. My brothers and sister and rarely talk and it’s usually about pretty fluffy stuff. Those relationships I will have until I die, but they’re not especially close.

As a result of this, I think maybe as a form of compensation I can let go of people pretty easily. Hardly anyone has been in my life for the long haul. In my experience, people come and people go.

When Shayna and Kayla entered my life though, I thought I had those forever relationships I craved. Those were supposed to be my forever relationships. Their deaths would never separate us. I was supposed to be able to count on them until my demise. The girls had already planned which would take care of Tywana and which would take care of me in our old age. I didn’t think I’d be here to hold Shayna to taking care of me. I didn’t think it’d be the other way around.

There is no real point to this. It’s just what’s on my mind this morning, as this morning I wake up thinking about Shayna like I do every morning. I’ve thought about these other relationships and I’ve even tried working on them in the past. It seems for most people life just gets in the way of relationships no matter the intentions. Tywana is much better at them than I am and she only has a couple of friends from college and none left from the town she grew up in where she was with the same kids from kindergarten to graduation.

I will do my best to make sure Tywana and I are together for the duration. Kayla and I have a great bond. I couldn’t ask for a better daughter and friend. And, Shayna despite her not being physically here will be in my heart until death brings us back together.

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