Day 323- Dream of Shayna

The last several days have been rough. Rougher than usual I guess I should say. There are rough days and there are rougher days.  I’m not sure why. Grief has no rhyme, reason or rhythm, it just does its thing.  I felt like I needed a sign from Shayna and I’ve gotten a few actually. 

This morning as I’m on my run, I recall a dream I had last night. The weird thing is I didn’t remember it when I woke up this morning. It’s not really clear to me even now, but I remember Shayna was about 10 years old and I was watching her playing with Kayla like they did back in the day. I was just enjoying watching them, then I realized that Shayna wasn’t supposed to be there because she’s dead.  I called her over.  Normally at this time in my dreams I wake up, but I was able to talk to her and tell her how much we missed her and even give her a big hug.  I expected it to end, but the dream continued on. I thought “This is real. She’s really back.”  I started making plans about how we were going to tell people a miracle happened and Shayna was back. 

Then I woke up.