canBeing a parent sometimes makes one realize what hypocrites we can be. I was always giving advice to the girls about everything and would have to listen to myself and wonder how well I was doing at following my own advice. With Shayna delayed gratification was a concept she always struggled with. Shayna always enjoyed the moment, was always rushing to the next thing. Why wait to have the candy or dessert? Why not just have it right now? In spite of being an excellent athlete, Shayna never liked working out. Getting her to do her therapy was always a struggle. She was blessed with a lot of natural talent and when she did work, she worked hard. It was just getting her to work that was the challenge.
As a parent, being without our children is our worst possible nightmare. Many of us are dealing with that nightmare. The good thing is I have come to realize it’s only a nightmare- only temporary. The separation is an illusion. It’s a dream. That knowledge, and that knowledge alone, is what I have to rely on to sustain me through this. But, it cuts both ways. Knowing where I am going gives me the strength to keep moving forward. At the same time it’s difficult to focus on being here at times. I just want to sprint to the finish line.
I’m in a couple of groups on Facebook with people who have had Near Death Experiences. They’ve peeked underneath the veil and know what awaits us on the other side. A couple of things are nearly universal about people who have had Near Death Experiences. They lose all fear of death and they have a renewed zest for life. As they describe for me the joy and bliss that await us, I can’t help wonder how and why they can have this renewed sense of gratitude for the drudgery of this life, but almost universally they do. They tell us this life has meaning and purpose and if we are here, it’s for a reason. I’m trying to wrap my head around that.
Even though I disagree with the theology of the song “It Is Well With My Soul”, i have to admit it’s one of the most moving songs I’ve ever heard. It usually brings me to tears. It ends “And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight…” Amen.