Yesterday we launched our new t-shirt based on the premise that we have nothing to fear. As my paradigm has been massively shifting, I think I’m finally starting to internalize that while things can and will go badly for a while, ultimately, all is well because all will be well. I’m seeing this life as not the real one, as more of a dream and that shift is helping me tremendously with both the fear I’ve struggled with all my life and the grief I’ve struggled with for the past year.
What has also been on my mind of late is an oft quoted phrase “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” It’s one of those things people say and I think most truly believe it’s in the Bible. Dealign with passing of Shayna, this phrase has come up for me many times. I don’t know why. I’ve always hated that saying. It’s not in the Bible. 1 Corinthians mentions God won’t tempt us beyond our abilities (whatever that means). The phrase is not only not biblical, it’s flat wrong. Sometimes we do get more than we can handle. That’s why people break, turn to drugs or alcohol or even commit suicide. We can get more than we can handle in this life.
Last night I dreamt I was mountain climbing. We were actually on the descent on some really rocky terrain with some serious slope. I was second in the group as we were going down. The guy in front of me went down a slope to a landing where the only way forward was to make a leap to a ledge to our right. The ledge wasn’t that far away, about five or six feet. It was an easy jump. The only problem is it was several hundred feet to the bottom of the canyon. He made the leap and his front foot just caught the edge. He swung the other foot forward. It too just caught the edge. He looked back at me and he started moving his arms trying to create forward momentum to push himself onto the ledge. I knew he wasn’t going to make it and as he started teetering backwards, I could actually feel what he was feeling, as he knew he was going to fall. I had to make a decision whether I was going to watch him fall or turn away. I turned away for a moment. I just could not bear the thought of watching him plummet to his death, but then somehow I knew everything would be all right. I sensed it was a dream and he wouldn’t actually really hit the bottom. I figured he would disappear part of the way down, rescued from the dream into reality. So, I turned back and I looked. To my surprise I saw him strike the ground. I was stunned He hit so hard, his body completely liquified. Nothing was left but a puddle of goo. But, as I continued to look I noticed legs forming out of the puddle, then arms, then his head. His entire body came back, as whole as it was before. He was OK after all.