This is a nagging problem when it comes to the belief that our loved ones who have transitioned are still with us. Why don’t I get more? Some of us don’t get any signs at all. Some of us get amazing signs. Some might only find coins. Some get a lot of signs. Some get few signs. Why do we get “signs” at all? Why can’t they just talk to us? Why can’t we just see them?
Some grief groups discourage talking about ADCs (After Death Communication) at all their reasoning being that if a person is there who has not gotten a sign and he hears that others have gotten signs, he’s going to think something is wrong with him or that his departed has forgotten about him.
I have a friend who had very, very dear friend depart just a few weeks ago. She has been desperate for signs trying to figure out how to get them and fighting that feeling that maybe he’s forgotten about her.
I’ve done a lot of research into the answer to this question. Since Shayna passed over 16 months ago we have had various signs in various forms. But, the other night in a meeting I was in someone asked “Has any of you ever seen your loved one after his death?” We all had to answer in the negative. Well, he had. It was briefly, in the hallway of his home. As he approached the apparition, it suddenly vanished. Wow. Now I want that. I’ve had signs, but seeing is believing. Why haven’t I seen Shayna? Well, very few do.
Then, in another group I was in people were talking about OBEs (out of body experiences) and astral projection. I’ve studied this a bit, too. It’s not easy to make and OBE happen on purpose. There are various techniques for trying to induce such a thing. They are typically fairly complicated and difficult. It’s a practice. It’s a skill. It takes people years to master it. In this particular group, there were three people discussing how they do their OBEs and their experiences. One guy is only able to stay out for a few minutes at a time before he comes back, usually involuntarily, like waking up from a dream. The OBE is the “dream” in this case and he has little to no control over when it ends. Another guy said he can stay out for hours at a time- no problem. In fact, he once got out and could not get back. It was like trying to wake himself up from a dream, he kept smacking his astral body and doing other things to “wake up”, but eventually had to let his coming back happen on its own. Each of them has a limited experience in the astral world in the sense they cannot fully control it. It’s not easy to get there and when they get there their interactions with what they find there are limited as well. One guy has difficulty distinguishing it from dreams sometimes. He’ll be there fully lucid, then find himself in a dream state. Some people there on the astral plane have difficulty seeing the travelers, if they see them at all. One guy when he leaves his physical body describes trying to interact with physical objects back here as nearly impossible as he is operating at a different vibratory level.
Then, it dawned on me, maybe that’s the way it is when our loved ones try to get back here to communicate with us. Maybe it’s very difficult for them to make the connection in the first place. What if coming back to this physical plane is like us trying to take ourselves to the astral plane? From here to there is a difficult process that requires some amount of skill to achieve (typically- there are spontaneous occurrences, but those are rare). What if when they get here their astral body has a difficult time with physical objects? They can’t speak to move air the way we do. So we can’t hear them. They can’t reflect light the way we do to be seen. They can’t easily manipulate physical objects. When they are here, even when talking through a medium, the connection is often fuzzy where the medium gets parts of words or images. And the connection, even when it’s strong is usually tenuous often fading out very quickly. Maybe it’s like them trying to maintain a dream like state and waking up from it. I know my experience with Shayna in dreams is that as soon as I realize it’s a dream, it’s a struggle to stay submerged in the experience, I tend to pop out of the dream.
This makes sense to me as to why it’s difficult to get signs from our loved ones, why they don’t happen more often, why there is very little direct communication and why when we do make those connections, they seem to be so fleeting. It’s not like picking up a telephone or even sending a text. If them trying to reach us is anything like us trying to reach them through astral projection or even something like mediumship- a skill very few have and even the best can’t communicate with them the way we do with each other here then that explains why we don’t have nearly as many signs or as clear of signs as we might want.
Knowing why we don’ t get more signs isn’t going to stop us from wishing for them, but my hope in writing this is to say if you haven’t had a sign or had the signs you wish you had, do not take that as a sign your loved one doesn’t care or has forgotten about you. There could be many reasons why you haven’t gotten a sign beside that. It’s not easy. Maybe a sign would do more damage than good in your particular state. And maybe your loved one just hasn’t been able to break through in a way that is recognizable to you, yet.