Day 559- I Dream of Zoe

So, I’m here with the family and we’re having an intervention for our teenage daughter. She’s been acting a little off lately, taking risks and not acting like herself.  I’m sitting in a chair and she is sitting in front of the chair on the floor with her back leaned up against my legs. The rest of the family is seated across from us and we’re expressing our concern for the way she’s been behaving.  She’s got to stop living so dangerously.

As we’re talking to her, she goes from being defensive to being deeply sad and troubled.  Then, it comes out “I’m afraid I’m running out of time.  I don’t know how much time I have left.”  We’re all thinking the same thing. This is ridiculous.  Running out of time?  You’re a healthy, teenage girl.  “What if when I had my slip I hadn’t come back?  I would never see you guys again.”  She bursts into tears.  The slip, I seem to recall, has something to do with a horse she was riding. She took a bad fall, but she is fine.  There’s no reason for her to be acting this way. She’s got a long life in front of her.

I stand up and I pull her towards me. The face I see is the face of Yara Shahidi, the girl who plays Zoe, on Blackish.  (Zoe is the name I had chosen for Shayna before Tywana vetoed it.).  I pull her in close and I can feel her chin snuggled in that area where my neck meets my shoulder. I gently put my hand on the back of her head and I lean down so our faces are right next to each other. I whisper to her “No matter what happens.  We will be together again.”  I feel this surge of energy go through not only me, but through both of us.  It’s a rush that I can’t put into words. I can feel what she’s feeling.  It’s as if we are one.  Then, it hits me who she really is.

I wake up in tears.