Day 563- You Got To Know When To Fold ‘Em

I have close to 1,300 “friends” on Facebook. Many are people I don’t know and who never comment on anything I post.  I admit, it’s fun watching the number grow and I’ll take note the day when/if I pass the 1,300 mark.  Rarely do I unfriend anyone. Yesterday was an exception.

There’s a guy who’s been on my friends list for many years.  He’s mutual friends with nearly 100 of my mutual friends, one of the Christian circle of friends I have.  He has an unusual and memorable name. So, I notice when his posts pop up in my feed, but in the years of being “friends”, I’m not sure we’ve ever exchanged a word. I’m pretty sure he’s never even commented on my many posts per day.  So, he’s just kind of there in the background. I know he’s gay and i know he lives overseas.  That’s about all I know about him.

Yesterday, he made a post about what we can know about life after death and made the claim that all that we can know about life after death has to come from “science”. Anything else is pure conjecture or wishful thinking. I disagree with this vehemently. There is a fallacy that many have succumbed to that says anything worth knowing or even knowable has to be determined by “science”.  These claims are often made by people who have no understanding of the scientific method or its limitations. When people want to refute the afterlife, they appeal to the fact that our instruments can’t detect it, therefore it cannot be knowable.  They demand “scientific proof”, while ignoring mountains of evidence that would win any court case.  I pointed out to him that NDEs, out of body experiences, medium readings, EVPs, etc., etc. are all evidence of the existence of consciousness surviving after the body dies.  He claimed all of these things are “subjective”.  Subjective is an interesting concept. When you get right down to it, everything is subjective.  We agree there is a consensus reality.  We can both look at a tree and say “Yes. That is a tree. I see it. I can touch it.  It has green leaves.”. But, what each of us is reporting is a subjective experience.  I have no way of knowing what you are experiencing other than your report to me. I don’t even know if you see green the same way I see green.  But, we have been taught to dismiss subjective experience when it doesn’t suit us.

To be fair, this guy has been hurt by Christianity and seems to be in the process of deconstructing it. I don’t blame him one little bit. What I have found though is often in the process of deconstructing religion, people will totally dismiss spirituality which religion points to.  “If Christianity is wrong about being gay being a sin, it must be wrong about everything, including an afterlife.”. They toss the baby out with the bathwater.

I found myself on this guy’s wall arguing with him, trying to tell him what he should believe. Then, I caught myself.  Why is it important to me?  Why am I getting caught up in what a virtual stranger thinks? Why am I trying to tell someone else what he can believe and what he can post on Facebook?  So, I stopped.  He doesn’t need the aggravation. I don’t need the aggravation.  And, it is clear to me that he wasn’t interested in my arguments. I’ve been “friends” with him for years with zero interaction.  Why hold on to that?  So, I “unfriended” him and let it go.  I’m sure he’ll never notice and that’s just fine.