Day 62- Trying New Things

Today after my walk and my meditation I ask Ty if she wants to try out the new church that Lynn and Doug mentioned last night. Another friend attends it and he has invited me before. Neither of us is particularly wedded to Crossroads and even though the spiritualist church was OK, it was just OK. We decide to try Garden Park Unity. Ty has been listening to Unity Church podcasts and likes their message.

The church is about 200 people, perfect size IMO. I am not a fan of megachurches where nobody knows anyone’s name. Give me a place where the pastor might actually know who you are. Brian Tome stood on stage one week and said his friend and acquaintance circles were full, so if you were attending Crossroads, you had no shot of getting to know him. I admire his candor.

The church is full of a wonderful spirit. I thought he greeting time, where you shake hands, was going to go on forever. These people don’t just shake hands though. They hug. There is a time of meditation during the service. Like that. The kids march out to Sunday school, then later March back in to report what they learned. Like that. The message is about how we are each divine. Like that. Yeah, overall, we both like this place.

After church Ty suggests we go watch our friend Chuck play at a brunch he is playing at a Mexican restaurant. Normally our instinct is to rush home after church to our sleeping Shayna, but Shayna does not wait for us at home. We go to watch Chuck and are surprised to find Yvan is playing with him and Deb, his wife, is there as well. It’s a beautiful day and a beautiful patio he is playing on. The Bloody Marias are delicious. Of course though my thoughts turn to Shayna out of habit. Ty and I had checked in with each other on the way over. “How are you today?” We are each just kind of OK. We have the same thought as we head to the restaurant to see Chuck. We love seeing Chuck, but we’d rather see Shayna. As I sit on the patio and thoughts of Shayna start to flood in I realize this is not the time. If Shayna were alive, she’d be home in bed sleeping. She would not be here. The only difference between me having a good time, in this present moment, and being miserable is what I choose to think. If I stay in this moment, I’m sitting on a patio, sipping a nice drink listening to music being performed by a good friend. That’s what I choose to do. Meditation has helped me identify my thoughts, slow the thought train down, realize I am not my thoughts and have some control over what I choose to think.

After the music we come home and Ty does some work. Tiger is actually in contention in the golf tournament this weekend, so I’m interested in golf. I turn it on and Tiger quickly falls out of contention. So much for that. I decide to watch catch up on some television. Now is the time to let those thoughts come and come they do and they wipe me right out. I feel mentally exhausted, but we have been invited to dinner by friends. We are going to their house. Ty comes in the room and sees me lying flat on my back on the couch, not typical for me. She asks if I’m OK and offers me an out if I don’t want to go to dinner. No, I’ll go. It’s way too early for bed. I have to be somewhere, might as well be with friends. We go and we have a good time and conversation.

We return home and now we are both tired. It’s not the physical, it’s just mentally getting through these days where every single thing has to be done a new way. Reprogramming your brain is tough work. It’s two steps forward and one step back. We turn in early to read, grateful to have survived another day.

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