Day 652- Tilt-A-Whirl

Tonight is a rainy, stormy, night.  We know from one of Shayna’s essays that she enjoyed listening to thunder storms. It’s never been my thing, but a gentle rain hitting the roof does seem to put me into a deeper slumber and the deeper the better as far as I’m concerned.

When we head up to bed, the ceiling fan and the light are on in our bedroom.  I wake up several times during the night to the sound of the bluetooth speaker in our bathroom connecting and disconnecting from my phone.  It should not be doing that. I’m not using my phone and it’s in “Do Not Disturb” mode.

Just a few days ago we were talking to someone about signs from Shayna and I mentioned the ceiling fan and light had not been on in quite a while.  Well, that night, they were on again.  And tonight, they are are on for a second time.  I fall asleep easily and go into dream land.  Kayla has been having nightmares.  I almost never have nightmares. I have my second nightmare of the last couple of weeks.  But, then I go into a dream where I see Shayna. I’m at an amusement park.  I spot Shayna up ahead of me with a group of her friends. For the second dream in a row and the second dream this week, she is 15 year old Shayna. I can see every detail of her.  She has her short hair that she only had for a few weeks. I notice the curl pattern of her hair. She’s so caught up in talking to her friends I can’t get her attention. She’s now standing in line for a kids’ roller coaster, a Tilt-A-Whirl type ride. I get in line behind her still trying to get her attention.  Finally, she looks back at me.  She’s about 10-15 feet away. She nonchalantly says “Hi Daddy” and goes back to her conversation. i don’t want to interrupt her. I’m so excited to see her because I know she’s “dead”. I tell myself to keep calm so I don’t come out of the dream.  Maybe I’ll be able to talk to her after the ride is over. She gets in front car with one of her friends.  I’m several cars back sitting in a car with another kid.  All of the people on the ride are kids (When I wake up, I’ll remember they were all teenaged girls).  I’m enjoying the ride. The scene is brilliant. It’s a beautiful day. The colors are like nothing I’ve seen before, so vivid. But, then I notice the colors start to fade like someone is turning down the contrast on a photo.  Eventually, things are getting gray. I realize I’m waking up.  I start to sob. I don’t want to leave.  But, the spell is over. The magic is broken.  I find myself back in my bed.  This time I’m not crying in real life. The tears were only in the dream.

I go back to a deep sleep. Then, about an hour later, the light on the ceiling fan comes on again.  Tywana turns it off.  It comes on a second time.

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