Day 675- Shayna Is Still Working It

So, today I’m on my walk listening to a Podcast and thinking about my day coming up.  As always, Shayna is on my mind also and I’m thinking about how I haven’t cried in a while. Is the grief changing?  Do I not miss her as much?  Is this a good thing or a bad thing?  I spot a tiny feather on the ground and I’m taken back to a conversation I had yesterday with a bereaved mother I work with on the SoulPhone.  She showed me a collection of feathers she’s gotten from her son.  I haven’t seen a feather in a while I think. What’s up with that, Shayna?  This feather is really tiny, but a feather is a feather.  I continue my walk about 20 minutes later I look over to my right, and I see the biggest feather I have ever seen. It has to be at least eight inches long. OK, Shayna. Good job.

I’m walking slowly today.  I wrap up the Podcast and cruise back toward the house. I decide to check Facebook which I never do on a walk. This might be the first time I’ve done that. What pops up is a memory from 7 years ago.  It’s Shayna’s “Bugsy video”.  She was in the kitchen playing on my laptop and had turned on the special effect that distorts your face. For a few minutes, she just freestyles this comedy routine.  I walk by, having no idea what she is doing, and take my laptop back.  As I’m shutting it down, she says “Bugsy, shut down by the man.” I would discover it later among a bunch of videos she recorded on my laptop.  It’s my all time favorite video of her.

So, now here come the tears I had been wondering about.  So much pain. I miss Shayna every day. When I allow myself to think about more days without her, the tears come. When I think about her not being at the house when I finish my walk, the tears come.

Yesterday, I wished for a feather. Today, I saw the biggest one I’ve seen yet. This morning, I wondered where the tears had gone. Then, this video pops up that is guaranteed to bring them back.  Good job, Shayna.  I don’t know how you pull these things off.

Posted in , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Schedule Free 30 Minute Consultation

Resources for You

Support My Work

Most of my work is done free of charge. If you’d like to help me keep it going, please make a financial contribution by clicking the button above.

Get the Free e-Book

Get the latest updates and never miss information from Grief 2 Growth.

Plus, you'll receive our bonus eBook, Creating Habits to Relieve Stress.

Someone is sabotaging your happiness

Take the quiz to find out who

Scroll to Top