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Day 731- 06/24/2017- Two Years

Today is the day. It’s the two year anniversary of Shayna’s transition.  It’s a day I’ve dreaded and a day I’ve looked forward to putting in my rear view mirror.  When I meet parents who are multiple years out from the passing of their child, I’m jealous. I’m in the two year club now.  The time moves on and that is comfort.

It’s nice to know that our friends haven’t forgotten.  Shayna’s friends haven’t forgotten. A couple of her friends came by a week and a half ago because Truc is in Vietnam and can’t make it today- on the anniversary.  Others want to stop by today. The purple ribbons they put up two years ago have finally faded and mostly fallen down, but someone replaced at least some of them yesterday.

Helping Parents Heal friends have sent cards, letters, and messages.  People are saying they know the anniversary is a tough day. Well, honestly, no tougher than the other 730 days I’ve had to endure this. Last night, Tywana and I went out to dinner and to a comedy show. After the show, we talked about today. It’s all about perspective. We could look at this as 731 days since we’ve seen Shayna and be sad about that.  But, we have chosen to look at is a 731 days that we have survived what neither of us thought we could survive.  And, frankly, I didn’t want to survive it.

Today, Kayla leaves for Spain.  She’s checked in at the airpot in Detroit for her flight to Charlotte, then it’s off to Madrid. I’ve been counting the days with dread until June 24th, her day of departure.  She will be the farthest she’s ever been from us and gone for a solid month. I’ll miss her tremendously. But, just like this day was inevitably going to come around, July 24th will come around and she’ll be back. It’s been 731 days since I’ve held Shayna, but it’s also 731 days less I have until I hold her again. I know she’s right here with me. I hope she’s proud of me and I live every day to ensure that whatever time I have left, I make the best of for me, for Tywana, for Kayla, and for Shayna. I want her to have bragging rights as she looks over us.

Tomorrow will be day 1 since Kayla left. It’ll be the first day of the third year since Shayna left. And, it’ll be one day closer to that time when we all get back together and never have to say goodbye again.