We get signs from Shayna all the time. We’re both open to them and actively look for them. Since yesterday was the anniversary of Shayna’s passing, were both especially attentive to them. Shayna is really good at manipulating electronics. I did a five mile walk in the morning after which I cut the grass. I wear headphones when I cut the grass to listen to music. Often when I leave for a walk or come back, my iPhone will switch from my headphones to the bluetooth speaker in my upstairs bathroom. I have no idea why this happens and it does’t happen every time. It shouldn’t happen. Ty’s phone doesn’t do this. It’s never happened while I am cutting the grass. Yesterday, however, three times, while I was well over 50′ away from the house, three separate times, my music switched from playing through the headphones to the speaker in the bathroom. I finally just turned off bluetooth to get it to stop. I wear these headphones every day when I meditate, about 15′ from that speaker (in the adjacent room with the door open) and the music has never switched to the speaker while I’m meditating. Today, I can’t get it to stop.
After the five mile walk and another three miles cutting the grass, I took a shower and headed out to meet a friend for another five mile walk. We were to meet at two o’clock, but I needed to get my meditation in and at least have a little something to eat since I had not eaten since dinner the night before. Typically, I’m a stickler for being on time, but I texted him to ask if I could have 15 more minutes so I could eat before we did the five mile walk. So, I wolfed down some food and got in the car to meeting him. Normally in the car I listen to music on my iPhone or MSNBC. I will occasionally turn on XM radio and listen to the 70s or 80s station. I flipped on the 70s station and they were playing the Top 40 countdown from June 24, 1972. I love listening to the Top 40 countdown. If I happen to be in the car on Saturday or Sunday while it’s playing I will try to make sure I’m there to listen to #1 for that week 40 plus years ago. They’re on song #5 as I turn it on. I’ll get to listen to #1 today. As I pull onto the offramp of the highway I take to Loveland, I hear Casey Kasem announce the #1 song for 06/27/1972 and it’s Sammy Davis, Jr. “The Candy Man”. I loved that song when I was 11 years old.
Oh, who can take tomorrow (who can take tomorrow)
Dip it in a dream (dip it in a dream)
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the creamThe Candy Man (the Candy Man)
Oh, the Candy Man can (the Candy Man can)
The Candy Man can
‘Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
(Makes the world taste good)(The Candy Man makes everything he bakes)
(Satisfying and delicious)
Talk about your childhood wishes
You can even eat the dishes
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Then it hits me. I don’t know if Shayna has ever even heard this song. I don’t remember ever sharing it with her. But, she would so love it. It’s her fantasy world. I wish I had shared it with her. I recall a dream Kayla had where she and Shayna were eating ice cream. Kayla said she had had enough. Shayna encouraged her to get more because “Here we can eat all the ice cream we want.”. I think about how I’m not there to stop her from gorging herself on sweets and I burst into tears missing her terribly.
As I’m on my walk with Bill, Tywana texts me. She has gone to Costco while I’m out to get food for me to grill out tonight. She has the radio on and Wiz Khalifah’s “See You Again” comes on. The song is two years old now. It came out right before Shayna passed and we played it at her service. It doesn’t get a lot of radio play now.
I get home and we decide to go out to dinner instead of grilling out. So, it’s upstairs for the second shower of the day. When I walk into the bedroom, the light on the ceiling fan is on. I really don’t think much about it. Maybe Tywana left it on. So, I turn it off and get into the shower. When Tywana comes up, she asks me if I turned the light on. “No. I say.” wondering why she asked me that since I turned it off. “Wait a minute. Why did you ask me that?” I was in the shower by this time. She said “The light is on.”. I said “I didn’t turn it on. I turned it off. It was on when I came upstairs.” Shayna had turned it on again, after I turned it off.
That’s it. Those are the signs we got on the anniversary of the day of her passing. We decided not to grill out but to go out to dinner and have a nice meal prepared for us. It’s what Shayna would do.
