Today we decide to go to Garden Park Unity Church again. This is four weeks in a row. It’s been a long time since Ty and I were excited about a church. Probably about 20 years. I love the way this church is all about transforming the mind. They incorporate a lot of Eastern Oneness theology which has always resonated with me. We are not separate from God. God is not out there somewhere. We are God manifesting godself in trillions of different ways. We are drops in the ocean and we are the ocean.
During today’s meditation during the service, the pastor leads us in a mental exercise where we imagine ourselves as a small child and just sit and feel that innocence. Then we imagine ourselves in the womb. Ah, this feels good. Nice and warm, enclosed and safe. Nothing to accomplish, nothing to do, nothing to be ashamed of. Now we imagine looking over our shoulder and seeing the Light, our Source, where we came from. We also see our guides, our guardian angels who came here with us, who will never leave us. We will never be alone. Some say that infants still see these angels, but that, as the way of the world weighs on us we forget who we are, where we came from. In my church tradition, that was deliberately driven from me as I was told I was born sinful, an enemy of God and that I was here alone unless I accepted His offer to save me from the Hell He created to send me to. This teaching had me crying myself to sleep many nights.
My eyes actually tear up as I recall the pain and the loneliness of being a child in such a world. Fortunately, no tears fall down my cheeks, but they are there. I wish I could have been brought to a place like this during my formative years. But, it wasn’t meant to be. I wouldn’t be who I am today without each of the experiences I had. However, I will never be going to back to any place that tells me I am less than who I really am.
This ties in directly with the post I made last week about being born in innocent, forgetting who we are and then returning to our true selves. I titled it. “It Is. We are It. We forget. We remember.” The timing could not have been any better.
We go home and I start watching The Shift movie from Wayne Dwyer. During the movie he talks about being in the womb and how everything is planned out for us and provides for us. Our bodies just grow. We don’t have to make them grow. There is nothing to do, nothing to accomplish. It’s all done for us. We will reach our destiny. He wonders if that’s true of our physical needs before we are born, why not our spiritual needs now?
My mother’s pastor has been concerned that I find a place that provides good spiritual teaching to make it through this impossible time in my life and he is absolutely right. That is imperative. I think perhaps I have found just such a place.