Day 925- The Veil

In my Afterlife Topics group I am discussing “the veil” with a friend who is a physical medium. We have various levels of belief/knowing that the afterlife is real ranging from serious doubts to 100% knowing. Marcus, a physical medium, is at 100% having brought through physical objects from the other side and getting signs from his daughter including arranging Scrabble tiles to spell “Merry Christmas, I love you, Dad”.

I have been trying for two and a half years to penetrate the veil. I’m working on lucid dreaming, done all kinds of exercises designed to help me have direct contact with Shayna, been on the lookout for undeniable signs, trained in techniques to help with mediumship. So far, the veil remains for me. Even though I know with 99.9% certainty, I can’t get that undeniable first hand experience. No physical apparitions, no knowledge I couldn’t otherwise know, no hand written messages from Shayna. My friend the physical medium encourages me to hang in there, it will come. I’m doing the work. It will pay off. I’m not so sure.

I think that the veil is there is there for a reason. Forgetting is part of the process. Not having proof is part of the deal. When I would read the Bible and the whole theme seemed to be “faith”, I could never understand why faith was so highly valued. I still don’t. I want to know. I study and study and I’m so very close to knowing, but I get the sense that part of the deal I made was to remain, as Gary Schwartz calls it, a spiritual Helen Keller. I do not see or hear spirit.

Last night, I had two dreams that I recall. In the first dream Victoria, Shayna’s friend who passed six months after Shayna was well and whole. I was at dinner at a neighbor’s house and we were here discussing how the kids of the neighborhood had grown up. Some were even getting married. He told me that Victoria was married. I was taken aback. In my memory, Victoria had died two years ago. I realized I was in an alternate reality. I was so happy for Victoria, but at the same time, bitterly disappointed that Shayna was still gone in this reality. Why couldn’t this reality include her?

Scene change. I’m at a friend’s house and his very old dog is there. It’s a black Rottweiler. The dog passes away and we plan to take his body to be disposed of the next day. When we get up, the dog’s body is as if frozen. It’s completely stiff. We are moving the body preparing to take it away when my friend sets the dog down standing up and the dog comes to life. It’s a puppy again. It runs across the room, jumps up into a chair and starts playing. I’m amazed. I have just witnessed a miracle. Then, I think it’s not objective reality. What I am seeing is the dog’s spirit manifesting showing me he’s really OK. Well, that’s just as good. Wow. I am over the moon thrilled. Then, in my dream, I realize it’s only a dream. I’m disappointed and I wake up.

I will keep working, keep studying, keep clawing at the veil. But, I have the feeling that it’s my lot in life to remain blinded so I can relate to those who don’t have the opportunity to actually see, hear, and feel what some of us get to. We wil,have to keep relying on faith and feeling our way forward.