Grief 2 Growth Podcast- Roland Achenjang- Who And Why You Are- Pt. 2- Ep. 92

In part 2 of our two-part series, Roland and I discuss what he discovered after his spiritually transformative experience that made him look at everything in the universe differently, including himself.

Roland offers deep insights into the human condition and not only who we truly are, but the deeper question; why are we here?

You can find out more about Roland at




Brian Smith 0:00
Close your eyes and imagine what are the things in life that causes the greatest pain, the things that bring us grief, or challenges, challenges designed to help us grow to ultimately become what we were always meant to be. We feel like we’ve been buried, but what if like a seed we’ve been planted, and having been planted, who grow to become a mighty tree. Now, open your eyes, open your eyes to this way of viewing life. Come with me as we explore your true, infinite, eternal nature. This is brief to growth. And I am your host, Brian Smith. Hey, everybody, this is part two of my interview with Roland action Jang. If you didn’t catch part one, go back and catch that. And part two, we’re going to talk about his book, who we are and why we’re here. And in part one, we talked about roelens life and the experiences that led him to writing the book. So I hope you enjoy this calculator. That’s a that’s, that’s great. Um, so what I want to do. So, what I want to do, now we’re on I’m going to transition to talking about your book, I think this is a good point, because I think this is kind of where your book kind of comes up in your life. And so tell me about the book, The title of the book, and what it’s about.

Roland Achenjang 1:26
So the book is titled, who and why you are all you need to remember. And the book is, in my best attempt, a remembrance, or documentation of everything I remembered, right after my spiritual awakening, or in a moment of my spiritual awakening. And it’s kind of laid out in a step by step sequence, each chapter builds on itself, to explain our Earth life experience to help you remember who you truly are in your in your most fundamental essence, right? You’re this in finite being a unique expression of the all having a temporary experience here on Earth, designed to help you remember this about who you are, and then also help this all this what I call consciousness is this intelligence that is self aware and self sustaining, and always existing, get this know itself better. That’s it, that’s, that’s, that’s a very big combination, or a nice way to kind of put all of this together or in the entire book. And interestingly enough, that same week, after my awakening, one morning, I get up and I can’t sleep. And I get this message, again, to grab a pen and a book. And I do. And I start auto writing basically, a couple of chapters, and I write the what, what became, eventually the chapters of the book. And in the book, I did my best right to write it to encapsulate that moment, and all the lessons and all what I remembered that would that again, basically explains like who each and every single one of us truly is, and and how brave we are, literally how infinitely brave we are to come to this planet, and experience life like we currently do, and why we’re doing this. And and in so doing that the idea is, okay, now that you’re aware of this, what are you going to do with information? How is that and now you are empowered? That seems like okay, I actually am contributing to the entire experience in the way that I consciously want to. Yeah, and yeah, I have

Brian Smith 4:01
to tell you, I, I just got your book like a week and a half ago just takes a month to get through a book, I got through it in about a week, I discovered this things changed my life that that my Kindle, my phone will actually read my Kindle books to me so I can listen to it when I’m walking. So I listened to it while I was walking but um, you know, as I’ve read so many books about people who have near death experiences, people have spiritual transformative experiences and, and there’s so many things in common, but everybody tells a story a little bit differently. And I and I, your book was really, I thought I found it fascinating. There are a lot of things about it that were unique. Even though it’s a common, you know, we have a common thing that we’re here for. And one of the things right off the bat that really grabbed me You talked about we all here that we forget when we come here, I think a lot of us really know that. But you talked about this necessary feeling of abandonment. And that really resonated with me because I remember when I was about I think was about eight years old, and I was lying in my bed and I could not sleep Cuz I’m like, why am I here by myself? And I realized that my parents were separate from me and my brother was separate for me and that when one day we wouldn’t be together. I stayed awake all night long. Because I felt abandoned. I’ve never anybody talked about that feeling before.

Unknown Speaker 5:16

Roland Achenjang 5:18
No, thanks, Brian. I appreciate it. And thanks for the nice words you said about the book too. And abandonment, abandonment, very important aspect of being able to experience life on this planet. And so what I remembered was when you come here, right part of that agreement with consciousness, which sources, okay, if you can imagine the conversation, to me, it went something like this. All right, whatever my sole. Name is, I’ll call it real land, but it probably isn’t rolling, what’s definitely not real and there’s consciousness is real, and you know, you’ve rested from your previous lifetimes, etc. Now, we need you to learn new lessons. Are you ready? And you’re like, yes, I’m ready, and go, all right, go ahead. And you’re going to pick a family, you’re going to learn these lessons. And when you incarnate on Earth, the number one lesson, you really have to learn to overcome the number one way for those lessons, those lessons to become part of your life, it’s through the experience of fear. And you can’t experience fear anywhere else, like you do on this planet. Unless you feel like you’re abandoned, like you’re alone. fear comes in when you don’t feel like you’re safe, or connected to something. And so the whole idea of abandonment is another way to basically explain the illusion of separation, or the illusion of being separate from everything. Soon as you incarnate on this planet, or when you incarnate on this planet, not to say that people tell you that that happens between the ages of two and seven, usually, when you go through that separation, or you become aware of that that abandonment. But yes. And I like the word abandonment, because it it just definitely encapsulates. All right, you’ve been left to fend for yourself. Yeah. And at some point as an adult, while growing up, even as a kid, you start to speak as if you’ve been abandoned, you start to claim things as yours. This is mine. Right? This is mine. This is my beliefs. This is my truths of siblings. And then all of a sudden, I hear this, I feel abandoned. Where is my tribe, who believes that Jesus Christ was the only child and didn’t have siblings. And so this abandonment, allows you now to start making sense of the earth life reality, but not the real reality, the illusionary reality, because you aren’t really abandoned, right? And another thing to add to that is without the, the feeling of abandonment without the need to forget, you really can’t experience life on Earth, as well as you think you would. Yeah. Right. If if you if you don’t want to go through that experience, you might as well just stay, stay with consciousness back where you are. Or this may sound crazy, but incarnate on a different planet, where you always remember your eternal connection to everything.

Brian Smith 8:22
Yeah, I think it’s a really fascinating answer to a question that a lot of us have, I have, you know, why do we have to have all these fears? why did why do we only grow through through hard times? Why do we, but you know, I think about and it’s a just because you and I both have the same kind of background, you call them Master Jesus. Now, I grew up with Jesus, and I still have a big admirer of Jesus. But Jesus had to go through the same thing that you know, you can’t be human with that feeling that so when I was growing up, I always had this idea of Jesus just always knew that he was God. And Jesus was never really disconnected from the source. I’ve never felt disconnected from the source because none of us really ever are. But that wouldn’t make him fully human. You know, so when he was on the cross, you know, and he said, Oh, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? You know that that to me shows his his humanity. And I think that’s very, it’s a very important ask, but that was just my personal side about about Jesus, but I wanted to get that in. But I want I guess I read that in your book. And that was right in the beginning. I’m like, Yeah, that’s it. I’ve never heard anybody talk about this feeling of abandonment before. And the feeling and the thing that fear and abandonment are necessarily part of being human. It’s part of the experience.

Roland Achenjang 9:31
Yes. And it takes a whole lot of bravery to do this, right. I mean, I, in the moment I remembered, that’s one of the things I will never ever, ever forget going forward is in looking at everybody, and appreciating just what you signed up for. right you’re you’re currently experiencing life in a super superbly designed environment. I mean, Think about the the the the finesse it takes to create a, an illusionary reality that you think about as you’re in it is real. As you’re in it, you’re all born as you’re in it. At the same time, you don’t remember your eternal connection to everything. But at the same time, you’re always connected. And at the same time, all this stuff that you’re doing, and all the lessons that you’re learning, are helping you expand knowledge of yourself. And because you are this eternal, connected being, and you are basically consciousness, it’s helping consciousness expand its consciousness. Yeah, it’s beautiful. And I don’t I don’t know where else in the planet, or where else in the cosmos are people experiencing life like we do? pain, fear, death, suffering, joys. All of that, which this seems so real, my friend, I mean, we know this, you experience one of the worst, the loss of a child. And when I hear your story as well, I feel the same Michael, man, what a story. Think about the soul agreements that you had, this is me, when I when I see you, this is how I see the world now. I’m just in honor of the soul agreements that your daughter had with you and your wife, and how she would come and exit at some point. And it would be teaching you right, the ultimate lesson, which we all know it. And, and how much you have to overcome that like through what looks like an eternal pain, when? Because time is not really real, either. Right? You know that eventually. That’s where we’re all headed is remembering this truth about who we are. So that which then makes all our lessons learned. just fascinating, fascinating stuff.

Brian Smith 12:04
Yeah, absolutely. So you talk about a couple of the roles that we have. And as beings, right, you said that for every and that this is, I guess, the universal rule for every app act, actions equal opposite reaction, and there will always have free will, but we’re always, always unconditionally loved as well. Let’s talk about unconditional love. And what that really means. Because I think a lot of people, we talk about love, but for most of us love is conditional. So what is unconditional love?

Roland Achenjang 12:34
So, through my experience, again, I can only speak from my experience. Unconditional Love is basically that it’s the fact that because you are self aware, because you are aware, you are unconditionally loved, like you this sounds crazy. And I’ve had a lot of people tell me that it was actually pretty irresponsible to put this in my book. And I even struggled with it, too. But I couldn’t alter it, because it’s exactly what I remembered. Because you are as you are right now, in every moment you are unconditionally loved. Like you can literally do no wrong. Because there is no, there is nothing else except this oneness. And everything you’re doing specifically in this environment is designed to be simultaneously both. Like you can’t isolate, from what I understand you can’t isolate good from bad. And that sounds very, very, very, you know, it may sound ridiculous, but if you look back at your life, and all the experiences you’ve had, if you expand your consciousness a lot more in all those experiences, you can appreciate that there’s a way to kind of turn it into something bad, or something good. Yeah, but because everything is off consciousness, and everything is consciousness. on this planet, it’s always balanced. And so it’s simultaneously both. Mm hmm. And so unconditional love says, go out and do while you’re doing. You’re teaching all of us how infinitely creative, the myriad emotions that we can experience you’re showing us the ways to experience that you’re teaching us to build on your creativity to do other things. And because you’re doing this, and we thank you for it, the only way we can thank you is to love you immensely, regardless of what you do, because again, of the environment that you’re in. Yeah, this environment, you can’t isolate either one. And so whether you incarnate here or somewhere else, the roles that you’re playing, which are your roles, the ones you choose how you choose to act, they’re supporting the same sort of, they’re supporting the same outcomes. All of us are learning more about how infinitely creative we are. All of us are learning to experience an infinite array of emotions. Yeah. And with that we’re knowing more and more of who of who we truly are. So well, that’s love. Yeah, that encapsulating unconditional love. So

Brian Smith 15:18
let’s, let’s play a little thought game, because you, you played this in your book, and you said that the consciousness or source doesn’t really care about how we do stuff, as long as we’re authentic. And you get really extreme example, if I need to get ice for the Superbowl, you know, I go out and I can go buy the ice and be nice to the clerk and everything. Or I can, I could go out and this is disturbing, even say, I could kill the clerk and bring nice home. And either way, I got the ice home. And so from that higher perspective that the consciousness doesn’t care. Now, I would push back on that a little because I know you didn’t really mean that people should go out and kill each other. Because you’re not on this planet, I believe. And I’m just set this out there. And you can respond to it, that there’s a set of rules that there’s some things that we can do that are desirable and undesirable. And we can choose love, or we can choose fear. And so if I did do that thing, it’s got really consequences for me here and for all the other souls that I touch. So these these things, I think can both be true simultaneously. On one level, this is all simulation, it’s all a game. When the game’s over, it turns off, we’re all back home on our beds, right. But on the other level, the things we do here, we are supposed to choose love over fear. So how would you respond to that?

Roland Achenjang 16:38
No, valid point, Brian. So the best way to respond again, and I like they said is, if anyone knows me, they know I am one of the least. I’m so apprehensive to violence. Right? Like, yeah, yeah, I mean, I, I don’t want any of that to happen. But it was part of my check engine light, mm, where, in trying to justify and trying to make sense and control how people should act with each other. I found out that if I pushed really hard and try to dictate what people did, then there was a chance that I would end up becoming that which I thought shouldn’t happen. Yeah, under the pretense of preventing that which I think shouldn’t happen. I looked at the history of the planet coming from Africa, you look at slavery, you look at all the world wars. And I began to really think if there is a question as well, if there is a God, why is there so much violence? Mm hmm. Why is there so much hatred, all of this. And then I tried to reconcile that with unconditional love. But before my awakening, the one thing I was doing was putting conditions to it. And the condition was, if you’re going to do something, this is how you should do it. Because it resonates with me as an expression of love. Or I don’t, I don’t want to say unconditional love. Because if I said, this is how you should do it, then I was literally putting conditions to what has no conditions. Yeah. And I looked at, at, at even, I mean, just everything in the world. And I started to ask, but how am I contributing to what I’m saying isn’t right. And I looked at the progression of people’s lives with with anything, and I went really extreme in the book so that people could really think about this when I use death. And I said, Well, there is one way to come into this planet. And that’s being born by a woman. And then there’s another way to exit this plant. And that’s through death. We can now go into the nuances, which are called justifications in the book of how you should experience both. And based off of our conditioning, we’re going to say, this is the right way to be born. And this is the right way to die. Hmm. And in doing that, I saw Oh, I remember that I was severely limiting. How consciousness can experience itself and also dictating other sources lessons, hmm. And just and your lessons are so complicated, and so married in India, past lives, and etc, etc, etc. And then when I recognized or remembered that this place wasn’t real, and you’ve spoken to many people have had any experiences and just stories of fascinating I love them. But when you remember that death isn’t really the end. coupling that with unconditional love. Understanding the earth life and vironment. It. That’s when things kind of made sense for me. And, and I, you can also go deep into the nuances and see that we actually indirectly support violence in everything we do. But because it’s channeled in a certain way, we think it’s okay, if it’s channeled through laws that we all agree on, all of a sudden, we think it’s okay. If it’s channeled through the army going to war to protect us under the name of protecting us, all of a sudden, we think it’s okay, mind you, if it’s channeled through an animal that we’re killing to eat, all of a sudden, we think it’s okay. But there was this one beautiful story, and I’m going to paraphrase it yet that I heard Sadhguru talk about. And he had to do something along the lines of this, this man is talking to a wise sage, who is kind of like in an enlightened state. And the man’s questioning how much power we as humans have here on earth. And the wise Sage says, You have a lot of power in your spoken word. And he says, Are you kidding? So if I command something that will be done, says yes, give it a try. And it seemed like those a caterpillar that walked by or something, and he commanded that Caterpillar to die, the man did and the caterpillar died.

And then right after that, a butterfly came through, and he commanded that Caterpillar that butterfly to die and the butterfly did. And then like a squirrel came through or something of that sorts. He commanded that squirrel to die, and the squirrel did. And the man is can say, oh, my goodness, I have this much power. And the sage is like, Yes, you do. And then an antelope walks by and the man commands the antelope to die. The antelope falls dead, bam. And then this woman walks by with a baby, right? And the sage says, There you go, command this baby to die. And the man says, whoa, now you pushing it too far. I’m not gonna do this. And the baby. The baby said, Hey, listen, I was a caterpillar. You command me die, expand my consciousness, I was a butterfly, then I was a squirrel, then I was an antelope. Now you are preventing me from experiencing enlightenment. My freedom has come. Your commandment would allow me to experience that. And you hold back. How dare you? And so in that thinking, I, when you step back, and you look at it from the perspective of consciousness, and you ask, I call consciousness God, and you ask, why would we come here? And have all these experiences? Why would he allow this to happen? If not, for the mere fact that it’s helping us learn more about ourselves? Hmm. And so, if the consciousness if this this being is unconditionally loving, like we always say, where do those conditions and where did they end? Well, and that was the push is where does it end? Now you can, in your own judgment, don’t do that. I don’t condone it. And I said, I try to say in the book a, please don’t do this. But then again, I recognize somebody has to learn some lesson. And if, if, if so I’m not saying it’s okay. And I really hate to say that too. But I get it, I appreciate that life on earth is a place where we can’t really isolate. And when we try to dictate too much what conditions evoke unconditional love, then we’re likely to end up being what was saying, we shouldn’t have.

Brian Smith 23:58
It’s, I think it’s a fascinating thought experiment that we all need to kind of play out ourselves. And I like that you’ve, you’re brave enough to push that, you know, in your book, and it reminds me, I was speaking with a client just few days ago, who thinks that this person committed the unforgivable sin. And I’m talking to this person, they’re like, I feel separated from my source. I feel separate from myself. I can’t, I can’t pray, I can’t meditate. I’m just cut off because of this thing that I did. And I had to say, the thing that you did was wrong because it harmed other people. So I have to, I have to say, I think there are things that we can do that are wrong. But from the perspective of consciousness, from a spectrum of our court, or of our source, our Creator, there’s nothing that we could do this wrong that would ever cut us off from that. And I think that’s the very important lesson and the example that you gave, not that we should go out and kill people to get ice, but that nothing that we could do nothing that we can do can separate us from the love of our God from the love of ourself from our source, but we can put ourselves in hell, you know, and people when we when we die, we do have near death experiences I’ve and people have had very Pallister death experiences, because they judge themselves, they’ve realized that I’m supposed to choose love over fear, there is a desirable outcome. There is a there is a desire to choose love. But sometimes choosing fear teaches us as well. I mean, not sometimes all the time. Everything that we do, everything that we do works out for the greater good. And that’s, it’s a hard concept for people to hold both those things in their minds at the same time, I’d like and I appreciate you exploring that.

Roland Achenjang 25:39
Yeah, Brian, it really is. And those were so many of the check engine lights that came on for me, right? You can look at history of mankind on this planet, you can look at the oppressions that the minorities have faced, right over time. And question is, if it’s speaking, like someone that like from Africa, for instance, and I thought was slavery was a big part of our history. But look at where we are now, as a continent as a country, specifically in Cameroon. We’re nowhere where I can advanced country or developed country like America is, and is a country that was you know, sort of developed on all this, you know, this what you call free labor, essentially, right? Yeah. And I said today, if I, if I try to develop Cameroon, it’s not going to be free labor, it’d be way expensive. And then at the same time, I asked, but why would this happen? Why would anybody who calls themselves unconditional loving, allow this to happen? And then today was still in a situation where cameras nowhere developed, we’re having sort of different problems there. How do I reconcile this, and it wasn’t with my rational mind, I couldn’t, you really have to elevate beyond the illusion of duality. And look at this, not from like a 30 foot level, but from like, a 30,000 miles level, where you’re looking down at this thing of play. And another thing that also made me make sense of this was the fact or the idea, or the remembrance that on this planet, for me to learn how to love or to overcome a fear. If I created that fear, in my mind, somebody had to bring it to life for me. And those are the roles that we play for each other. Hmm. And a very good example would be in the movies we watch for instance, right. And that’s the fascinating thing is, after an awakening, you begin to see this truths at play everywhere in all of Earth life. So when we watch movies, especially action movies, there’s always a hero and a villain. And our favorite action movies at once where the villain is so well developed. Right? That the challenge that hero to push and push and push and push now, and we can think back and say, Well, if they if the villain wasn’t very well developed, then the hero is like, Okay, well, that was not a good movie. What he had to overcome was in trying enough, yeah, but the cool thing is, just like life on Earth, you need people to audition to play both roles. I need somebody to play that other role for me to, to learn my lesson to, to give me the opportunity to choose love. And if we, and I quickly learned that, even I, in my sort of, quote, unquote, doings of everything that I taught was loving. Oh, boy, little did I know that I was doing everything in this love. But other people were also perceiving it as the entire opposite. I could not have learned this any more so than looking at my life in the past before my awakening, and even afterwards, especially as pharmacy director. Right, and it’s not as extreme as going to kill somebody again. I am so against that. But, but even as pharmacy director, I was doing everything that I thought was loving. But the feedback you get is boy, boy, Roland, why would you do that? That’s awful, right?

Brian Smith 29:20
Yeah. You gave some great you gave a great example in the book of Jesus, for example. Now I hear people talk about Jesus, they talk about Martin Luther King and they said we should be more like them, you know, because they were loving and peaceful. And I remind people, both of them were murdered. So they were not seen as as perfect people by everybody and those people’s eyes they they were playing that that contrast role. And you know, if you want to share the story you told about about Jesus and I want you to tell if you like

Roland Achenjang 29:55
that, sure. Again, I try to go to a try to find extremes again. To show just what it means to incarnate on this planet, Mm hmm. And Jesus is a perfect example. And you can use anybody that we currently revere today, anyone that we look up to as someone who has shaped at a pop culture or shaped spiritual culture, etc, on this planet, hmm. And I thought, well, Jesus Christ, he’s this ultimate being, he remembered entirely who he was. And he embodied that here on this planet, to a degree that I don’t want to say we’ve never seen, but to a degree that over 2000 years later, we’re still invoking his presence. Yeah. Right, as this teacher that touched all our lives. And I say, think about this from the other side, right? And this was just here as a meditating is he was here on this planet, with all of us, showing us exactly how to achieve what we’re beating our heads for searching every day. And what did we say in our genius? Boy, take a hike, take a hike with your message. It doesn’t resonate with us. I mean, how can we make sense of that? But then it gets better is after we do this, right? And I say we I and I say we just because it was it’s we as humans, we this system isn’t right. So after we do this, we start to feel guilty, because we’re on planet earth when nothing is isolated. Think about if you were in that moment, all the justifications you made for yourself, that said, killing this man will bring us peace. Again, you’re looking for that peace outside of you. You’re thinking what you do to somebody else will bring you peace, my friend. No, we killed him. And not just any way we hung him on the cross with other people who by the laws of the time were guilty. Right? We killed him if one of his mom and his odds is I just it just the most vile way we hunt this man on cross. We’re done. And then a little bit later, we start to feel guilty. Oh, my goodness, what did we do? We should have killed this man. And then we say, guess what? Everything he was teaching us was what we needed to learn. So let’s create all these churches, let’s create this religion that says his way, is the only way and the right way. And so in our geniusness we now go on crusades killing everybody disagrees again. Right. And I’m seeing but Where else? Can you have such an experience? except on planet Earth? Yeah, so we go around killing people spreading his word, hey, you need to be saved? By believing in this being if you don’t we kill you. Like Wait, what you think what’s your rational mind what kind of sense that makes it doesn’t. And it doesn’t stop there. And then after we’re killing all these people will still not save. And we’re still pushing and 10s of thousands of years later, we’re still fighting, fighting. And we’re arguing, we’re saying this is the only way and then people break off. And then you have to friend Christian teachings, Baptists, Pentecostals, orthodox, all of this you have, I mean, you can look at the history and just see how much has come out of this man’s life. And was still searching, still searching. And so I asked, but think about how much good has come out of this. How much people’s lives have changed when they’ve come in contact with this being and how much that that that change has said, or there is way more to Christianity, and the teachings that people recognize, which is where I am today is these teachings are fascinating. They’re great. They’re a stepping stone, they’re legitimate, there’s a lot of truth in them. But that truth cannot be identified or resonated with with the rational mind alone, you have to go beyond, you have to go beyond.

Brian Smith 34:08
Right. I love the way you put that. That was that was brilliant. And I was talking with someone yesterday about religion and spirituality. And they were saying how we see some people right now, I don’t like to get political, but people on the writer, they’re really becoming very religious, you know, and they’re like, this is the way to be a right minded person. And I was saying, you know, religion, I believe is a stepping stone, really, but bludgeoned will not take us to where we need to be religion can can maybe move it so I I saw the same reference for you that you do for Jesus and for the Bible. I think there’s some great stuff in there. But I think we need to move beyond that. And I love the way you talked about, you know, the way the way that Jesus was perceived because after people die again, I bring up MLK, Nelson Mandela. Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for years, because he was considered terrorist. You know, he was he was the bad guy. He was the antagonist. And that story wasn’t the protagonists. It’s years later, we look back and say, yeah, that was a good guy, you know, Martin Luther King, we gotta remember, the guy was murdered for his beliefs and what we’ve tried to stand up for. So there’s two sides to everything that we do. I think that’s the point you make in the book, I think you do a great job with that. I just want to talk to you, thanks, I want to talk about this idea. Because we use the word illusion A lot of times, and you know, I use the word dream, I use the analogy, a lot of times, this is like virtual reality, you know, this is like, we’re like in a very immersive video game. And we’re all really safe. It’s also very real, you know. And when we talk about the ego we talk about the ego is a construct, which I fully believe. But some people make the ego, the enemy. And they’re like, I need to get rid of my ego. And my take on it is if you get rid of your ego, you will die. Because you can’t live on this planet without an ego. So I want to ask you about the concept of ego death? And what do you think about that? Is it possible? are what are we what should our goal be?

Roland Achenjang 36:00
Oh, that’s another fascinating question. And at the beginning of the book, just to to make this point is, I do acknowledge the, the the complexities and the challenge of using words to to, to sort of explain this truths and these universal truths that I remember. But the ego I love now, before my awakening, Brian, I was in the same boat, I wanted to get rid of the eagle. Right? The ego is awful. It’s making me think bad things. It’s making me do this and do that. It’s making me this evil person. Mm hmm. Evil, ego. Right. But no, after my awakening, I gained an entirely new perspective of what the ego is. I love your analogies of video games, right. And I’m going to use that to kind of explain how I understand the eagle today. Hmm. So, in order to play a video game, in my book, I use Super Mario Brothers, but you could literally replace with anyone, you have to pick a character in that world in order to experience life in that world. Right. And so, in Super Mario Brothers, you can pick Mario or Luigi for instance. Now Mario and Luigi are Eagles in the world, Super Mario Brothers. Now your true self, which is really not your true self. But for the sake of this analogy, your true serve now becomes I Roland who’s playing the game, I cannot physically become a character embodying my full self in that world. And think about it. If I was, a lot of my biological processes won’t work. I won’t be able to feel emotions the way I currently do, I won’t be able to pee, poop, eat fried chicken, baked beans, any of that stuff merch, right, I won’t be able to in the world, Super Mario Brothers. It’s a confined world with certain characteristics, rules, regulations, and limitations. on our planet, what I understand what I remembered was in order to experience life here, you have to have an avatar as well. And that avatar is your ego, essentially. So Roland Chen Jang is my Eagle, with all my fears, with all my beliefs with what I currently remember, as who I truly am, and what my level of connection, or my level of connection to consciousness that I’m in. I used that in the book, which is how much do you remember who you truly are? makes up my ego. Now, ego death, right? happens all the time. It’s not a one time thing, it happens regularly. And that happens when your beliefs are challenged to the point where you’re kind of forced to change. So in our previous conversation, an example of ego death that I eventually realized, but that was fighting to let go, was the idea that Jesus Christ had siblings more than of Mary. Hmm. So that belief system being challenged me holding on to is an egoic construct that I’m fighting with. It’s not really real. Maybe he did. Maybe he did it. Okay. Now I could believe in hold on to it. But if I do that’s creating my ego. What the ego does besides allow you to experience life on Earth, it allows you to identify fears and also to create within your construct within your framework within your environment. ideas or ways in which to overcome those fears. Now, after a spiritual awakening, like I did, a bunch of my ego my old ego died. Hmm. But because I am still on this planet, I have to create a new one. Like you can’t live here without. And so my new ego is now Roland, the author who is talking about my new understanding of my connection to consciousness. Mm hmm. And in spreading the word, but this is not who I was before. For my awakening, any of my beliefs have changed, right? Yeah. And so that’s what we need the ego. It’s not bad. Again, remember, you can literally do no wrong with your ego, you’re still helping all of consciousness experience life in ways that it could not ever do without you. Yeah. Your uniqueness through your ego. It’s exactly what consciousness wants you to express.

Brian Smith 40:25
Yeah, I love the way you put that like that. That was really great. And I, you know, when you were saying I got the idea of rebirth, right? The ego dies, but then it’s reborn like a phoenix, you know, it keeps rising but in a different form. So we can we can, we can now no longer be the person where we were, but we still need to take on a new avatar. So we’re like, we’re like leveling up. Maybe, you know, there’ll be another way put it in the video game analogy. Oh, yeah. I mean,

Roland Achenjang 40:51
I love that. And one of the good ones is like Dragonball Z. I mean, I kid you not, I look back at my I look at all of life now. And all I see are these universal truths everywhere. So the idea of leveling up, it’s like Dragonball Z, his ego just kept going super saiyan mode and all this jazz. That’s it, we’re all leveling up, you’re gaining new skills and new abilities. And then when you use that now to express yourself, you still not going to avoid, right, the illusion of right and wrong. You can’t. I mean, you can’t, right. So in everything that I’m doing, someone’s going to perceive it as the other side. But the more your ego develops, the more you are in alignment with this consciousness, and you remember this, to recognize that it’s part of the earthlife game. And then you’re not afraid to like move forward, knowing that both are lessons, and then you’re not judging you. When you say when someone says what you’re doing is wrong, you get it, and you kind of smile, you’re like, I get it, it’s wrong. And then you maybe get to a place where you can both work, you be clear about your message. But you also understand that you’re on planet Earth. And it’s limited in how much you can communicate effectively with somebody else. And it’s also limited in how much you can isolate your own made up ideas of good or bad, right or wrong. And then it kind of makes it what do I say I use the word bliss, you feel a little more relaxed. You know that you can always return to consciousness, because you’re always connected. And you keep going. You show up?

Brian Smith 42:31
Yeah, I yeah, I think that that analogy really works well. And you can say it makes you more relaxed. You know, I had this friend nice. Every time I think about this, I think about my friend I argue with many years ago where he said he called ontological levels, I think it was. So from one perspective, one level, something might be wrong, but from another level, it’s not wrong. But we’re we’re in here, we’re in here, like you the video game is a great example. There are rules in the video game, there’s certain things you can’t do. And there’s a goal in the video game, there’s something you’re trying to accomplish in the game. Now outside the game as as Roland or Brian playing the game, we realized that when I turn the game off, it doesn’t really matter. I was I was just playing a game. But so there’s there’s two always two sides to this. And you know, you were speaking of the ego, and in the book, you give Satan a lot of time in the book. And I know that’s probably going to bother some people. So I’m going to talk about what your perception of Satan is, and why you give Satan so much time and why you have a chapter titled Satan is your best friend.

Roland Achenjang 43:34
Yeah. Thank you, right? Satan, the devil is your best friend. I believe that’s Chapter Eight, seven or eight. So well, if you look at my upbringing, again, right? It had basically prepared me to label Satan as the enemy of progress. anybody’s progress, right? Satan is this, my goodness, you, you anything, anything that you did that you didn’t like anything that you experienced, that was saying was at will to this? But after my awakening, I began to recognize or I remembered that again, on planet Earth, you cannot isolate either one. And I, in my analogy of using the word Satan, that’s me building on the idea of duality. Like if you think of duality, as good and bad, then the ultimate representations of each and this is me assuming that most people are like me was anything that was so good, it was almost heavenly was God like, everything that was so bad that it was almost hellish, was of Satan like saying, you’re involved with this, right? And so experienced in life, and I have this rose colored view of I always had this even before my awakening, I would go through these experiences and a friend of mine or I would have similar experiences, but we would then categorize them to different degrees of either hellish, good, bad, or like really great. And I found that it could be really easy for me to say I lost a basketball game. And that was so hellish saying did that, why what a basketball game, and that was of God’s doing? I mean, you watch award shows, you watch sports, the Packers beat the Patriots or something. And then at the end, they’re like, Gods with us. Right? Yeah. And I thought the way to wait a minute again, this is my red flags. My rational mind is like, just don’t make sense. Mm hmm. You’re telling me that all these people, the entire team or 53 players, on a on a team that you just played in, be prepared all week with your coach. And then they came on last week? Because God was not with them. It’s like, which god are you talking about? So had all these questions. And then after the awakening, I recognize that we are the constructs of both the God we believe in is entirely a representation of our current level of awareness of our connection to consciousness. Remember that, we are all one, right? I that and I saw this, everything is the same thing. It’s it’s one, it’s what I call consciousness, if you are, if you can think it, if it exists, it is this consciousness expressed as a unique, a unique in expressed in a unique way.

And so I sought that every unique thing that was being expressed, again, was simultaneously both on this planet, right? If I liked it, it was good. If I didn’t like it, it was bad. And if it went down to like, mundane things like food, I’ll be eating food with a friend. Oh, that’s gross. That’s disgusting. Why would you eat that? And then I’m like, Dude, this is good. Like, how do I make sense of this? Yeah. And what I saw was, every time something happened that we didn’t like, and we kind of chalked it up to Satan, and it would be a similar experience. That’s when our ego was sort of playing the game to say, hey, how can you overcome this fear. So every fear, we were identifying and creating our made up, Satan was bringing it to life for us. And I say he’s your best friend. Because if he wasn’t, he would keep you away from that fear. And then you will be limited in your growth and ability to express creativity, them. And every time you’ve overcome a fear, think about who brought that fear to life for you. And that’s what I’m trying to say that’s the role Satan is playing for you. And when you remember that, it becomes like your most challenging coach you’ve ever had. Or your favorite teacher, the person who pushed you to be your best, right? The person who showed you that the person who think about this, most people who end up achieving what we call Earth life success will always think, and mentioned somebody who doubted them. What this is, you hear this a lot in pop culture, music, this is to my teachers who said I would never make it. Yeah. And when I hear that, I just laugh. I go, Boy, that’s your Satan. That’s the person who motivated you to push. That’s your Satan, and you’re thanking Him, you don’t even recognize it. And you think he was against you. He saw that potential if you want to think about it this way. Or you’re Satan, which was basically you saw that potential in yourself, brought it to life for you, because it was a fear, I think I can be a great artist. Now you can’t that same talking to you back and forth. Somebody comes out and brings it to life for you, other than in your mind. role, and you will never be a great artist. Dude, I did this. Sorry to call you do that’s not appropriate. Brian. I did this to myself before I wrote my book. Sure. And my Satan came out, you can write a book, you never get to be published, what the heck. But I realized what he was doing immediately, like I just had this awakening, I know what this is. This is my fears coming to life. And Satan is bringing it to life for me. Thank you. Now let’s work together. How can I overcome this?

Brian Smith 49:10
I look, you said something in the book that I again, I hadn’t really heard put this way before. And I love that you talked about how our fears actually help us to prepare, to do to do better to do things we need to do to accomplish it. So when you said I wanted to be an author, and you had the fear, I can’t do this, then you’re like, well, what are all the things I need to do to do this? What are the things I need to accomplish? And if you hadn’t had that fear, you wouldn’t gone through that. And as I was reading, I was relating to myself personally, I’ve always had this problem with like money. For example, I’ve always had a fear of not having enough money. And I’m just about my financial planner, like a week or so ago, we were going over our finances. And I realized because I’ve had that fear for as long as I have. And when I was making, you know, good money I could do in the past I was saving and everything. It’s like you’re actually in a pretty good position now. And I’m like wow, I finally feel a little bit better. about this, but it’s because I’ve had this fear since I was 16 years old, that I put myself into that position. So I said, I’ve read your book, I’m like, Okay, now I get it. I mean, that really resonate with me a lot.

Roland Achenjang 50:13
I appreciate it. And thank you for sharing that story. But it’s true. And I see. I mean, again, when you have, when you go through an experience like this, it becomes you’re literally who you are. And it’s all you see. So every time I interact with family members, I see this. But the, I shouldn’t say the beauty, the challenge, or the interesting thing about all of this is you can read my book like you did, and then apply it to your life. And it, you know, you’re aware of it. But when you have that experience, it’s an entirely different thing. It’s now annoying, right? And every great teacher, I think that’s one of the gaps between personal experience and then like awareness through knowing or exposure. Mm hmm. That’s a huge, that’s a very big gap in trying to instill or make you really appreciate the idea of Satan in your life. Right? It’s not? Yes, I’m not I’m not saying don’t think of it as something bad. If you currently do it, that’s fine. But if you want to expand your consciousness, you have to ask, but then, but then, why is it that in everything I do, Satan seems to be involved? What is he really doing? For me? He seems to be everywhere. So, one day, I was traveling home and I missed my flight. It wasn’t my fault, right? There’s a delay. And I mean, I miss my connection flight. And my mom calls and she goes, I’m on a roll. And I’m sorry, God is in control. Because I wait. Which God? Is it the same one that caused me to miss my flight way? Like, no, it’s that if you in her mind, she’s thinking, you know what, she’s probably thinking, I did something bad. And I’ve missed my flight, maybe? Or there’s like, a bug, I miss my flight. It’s just an opportunity to learn something. What can I do with this time? Can I meet someone at the airport and just have a conversation with? Can I take this time to meditate? can I calm? If you if you start to become more aware, you start to see how the god you create and the Satan you create are literally working together to help you expand your consciousness all the time. Yeah. God brings your choice to live Satan brings your fears to life.

Brian Smith 52:28
Yeah, I think, you know, as as a coach, as a grief guide, I’m working with people, my biggest thing with people is getting them to change their perspective to how they look at things. Because everything, everything that happens is good and bad, are neither good nor bad, or however you choose to look at it. And there’s I always tell the story of my favorite stories is a tower story with this guy says, as a farmer, and his son goes out and finds a wild horse. And the villagers always come to him and say, it’s great thing, your son found a horse, he says, Well, maybe. And then the next day the sun falls, he’s trying to break the horses, he falls, he breaks his leg. And the villagers come to him and he says, It’s so bad. It’s too bad. Your son broke his leg, he says, Well, maybe. And then the next day the army comes through, and they’re conscripting people in the army. And they don’t take the son because he’s broken his leg. And they say, what’s a great thing that your son broke his leg. And the farmer says maybe, and this is this is all of our lives, we always want to judge things good or bad. And I deal with people that have been through traumas, I’ve been through trauma, it’s when my daughter’s in the picture behind me. But if my daughter hadn’t passed, you know, when she did, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now. And, and we all have awakenings in different ways at different times. So when I talk to people like you and I say, Man, I kind of wish I had the experience of rolling into where I could get these crazy things in meditation, and I would just know it. But that’s not my path. That’s not my experience, my path is different. But reading your book and listening to your story, and I appreciate you sharing, so much of your time with me, can really inspire all of us to look at like what’s my path? And how do I get to this place? while I’m still in the body? because like you said, the good things. We’re all going to get there one way or the other.

Roland Achenjang 54:09
Yes, right. No, thank you. That’s a Yeah, that’s a fascinating story, too. I love it. It just shows the uniqueness and the different paths in which we’re taking to basically end up in the same place.

Brian Smith 54:21
Yeah, well, I not take up too much more of your time. I want to ask you one last thing. So we’re loving these bodies, we’re loving this, this life is kind of an illusion, you know, whatever. What happens to us when we die? What happens to to to roll land or to Brian, what can we expect? What can we expect?

Roland Achenjang 54:42
Well, it varies, right? And for someone like you who has had multiple conversations with folks who have had near death experiences, you can appreciate this. And I would encourage anybody listening to you know, continue listening to your podcast to get an idea of what This experiences are like, or even, you know, visit any websites that catalog some of these stories that are told is a NDS is a is a really good place to get in contact with or learn a lot about what happens when we pass the there are a couple underlying things that I remembered. One. And the really big one is, when you pass, right, you, you embody more of who you truly are, basically, all of who you truly are. And that’s this infinite being. And then you’re slowly then received back and the other side, which is, if you can appreciate it, you’re being birth back into that world. Just like when you come into this world, you’re being birth here. And usually you have people receiving you, if you’re in a hospital, you got the doctor and the nurses, you’re sort of crying, you’re discombobulated about the right word. And then people kind of help bring you in slowly and help you assimilate into this new reality that you’re experiencing, which is way different, in certain regards, then then then where you were before. And so when you pass here, you’re being birthed back into the outer world. And usually, you’re going to have some sort of people, family members, close, close soul guides and soul tribe members of yours, maybe even your, your teachers, etc, receive you into that world, including people who had played different roles in your life, that have crossed over before you. And then when they receive you, they help assimilate you back into that world. And then from there, over time, I don’t really want to say time here, but you go through a review with your guide or with other teachers. And you are basically kind of like the the one reviewing your life, right? With the help of these people. They’re asking you questions? Hey, how do you think you did? In this scenario, in this case, and based off of your answers, right, you’re basically showing how much you’ve grown as a soul, how much have evolved how much your consciousness has expanded. And then, after a while, I don’t, there’s really no perception of time there, after you’ve rested and sort of come back to yourself, you can choose to come back. But a big piece that are remembered is all of life is in a crude way is information that’s being kept, that can be accessed in myriad ways. Right? upon excellent the physical body, even in the physical body, if you train yourself well enough, you can access this information. Now, it also depends, I would say, I don’t want to speak for everybody. But if you chose to incarnate in a way that you really weren’t going to access this information, then that might not be available to you. But on the other side, all this information is available, you can access you can review, you can learn, there’s a big piece about learning that never seems to end, as an as a as a self aware of being human always learning. And so when you go back to the other side, everything you’re doing is continuing to learn. And all that learning is feeding back consciousness, which is this all and all that Imagine if everything you were doing was basically being fed to one source. And that’s the idea, I think of source knowing everything. So all your learning is feeding back into this source. Whether you’re studying, you’re reviewing your life, you’re asking how you could have done things better, you asking for advice from older souls, traveling to different places where you can experience life in different ways. You’re ceaselessly learning, and we do that on this planet. If you appreciate that experience you have is teaching you something. Right, then then from there, I think you’re speeding up your consciousness expansion piece. And, and so I discussed that in my book and the ability to review your life from multiple perspectives. But a great book that I read after I actually released my book was the journey of source.

Brian Smith 59:03

Roland Achenjang 59:04
yes book. Yeah, that book is it’s it’s super fascinating what Michael Newton was able to document with his work of, of helping human beings, right, go back to their lives between lives. And it’s a very, very, very, very well written book about what happens to you when you pass. Now, this is I have not had a near death experience, right. I’ve had my spiritual awakening experience. And then another other experience that I don’t talk about in the book, where I was able to sort of see a glimpse of what happens when we pass but a very good place to go into would be any Andy’s stories. And yeah, and you’ll see that Yeah, you’re not really gonna go anywhere. And and just another food for thought is believe. Like, if I remember that everything is this conscious There’s nothing outside of it. So even when we pass, regardless of where we end, it’s still a construct of consciousness. So like, you can’t really go outside of it somewhere else. Yeah. Right. And if you’re in any constructed environment that is of conscious, know that you are learning something there. And soon enough, you will have to go to some other place to continue to learn. And that was something that I, I, you know, when when I had my awakening, and I remembered a lot of this stuff kind of made me also feel like, Ah, well, yeah. Okay. If you do go to hell, it’s a constructed environment. There’s something to learn there. Eventually, you’re going to go to heaven. But if you realize most people who go there aren’t there forever. They leave, they come back here they go somewhere else. Yeah. So yeah.

Brian Smith 1:00:51
But I think that’s a great way to kind of wrap things up. I do want to tell everybody, again, the name of the book is who and why you are all you need to remember by Roland action, Jang, a CH, n, j, and G. And that’s his website, also Roland agian I encourage people you can tell if you listen to podcasts. We’re always a great conversationalist. So I encourage you to check out his podcast conversations with Roland I know you’ve had some some great guests on I know, you’re getting more great guests. So just to wrap it up, anything anything you’d like to say before we close?

Roland Achenjang 1:01:28
Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me on. And then secondly, I if anything, please, please know in your heart, that you are this in finite Lee brave soul, having a temporary experience here on Earth, designed purposefully, to teach you just how infinitely creative you are and find it brave you are. And in everything you’re doing in everything you’re saying in everything you’re thinking in everything you’re wishing for. You’re helping all of us remember the same information about who we are. And then you’re helping consciousness, which is the all learn more about itself. Right? And so don’t don’t for once, like, look down upon yourself and your uniqueness. Don’t Please don’t. Your your contribution is your uniqueness. And if you can embody that you’re doing all of us a great service like all of us.

Brian Smith 1:02:29
Yeah. Well, that was great. I was well said, Roland, thank you for for being with me today. Thank you for spending so much time and doing this. Looking forward to getting the feedback on this episode, and I’m looking forward to listening to your podcast as well.

Roland Achenjang 1:02:42
Likewise, Brian, I appreciate it. Thank you.

Brian Smith 1:02:45
All right. You have a good one.

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