Three thoughts will keep you stuck in grief. These are extremely common and widely accepted. If you can overcome these three false beliefs, you will have gone a long way toward coping with your grief. They are very simple. Overcoming them will probably require some work. But, it’s worth it.
1.) “Death is the end”
Language is important. You will rarely hear me say that someone died. The reason is that none of us dies. We so closely identify with the body that we have the mistaken belief that we are our bodies. Therefore, we think, when our body dies, we die.
It’s more accurate to say we have a body. Your body is a lot like your car. It’s a vehicle you use to get around. When you get out of your vehicle, you don’t cease to exist. You move about differently.
While the body is necessary to interact on this plane, it’s not needed for consciousness or existence. When people cross over to the other side, a common way they explain the experience is “I just woke up.”. The reports are that we feel more alive than ever when our bodies die. Death is not the end; it’s a new beginning.
2.) I’ll never see her again
A common phrase among the grieving is “I’ll never see her again.” This belief is also inaccurate and unuseful. What you mean is your physical eyes will never see her physical presence again. That is very true. But, never is a long time. Eventually, all of us have our moment. We are not damned to live in these physical bodies forever. There will come a day that you will see her again. You will have a joyous reunion. And, on that day, the time that was in between will seem like only a moment. It will be a quickly fading memory. What you need to hold onto today is that this day is another day along the road to that reunion. When you close your eyes tonight, you will be one day closer. Instead allowing these thoughts to keep you stuck in grief, saying, “I’ll never see her again.” remind yourself that you most certainly will see her again. That is inevitable and will be a joyous reunion.
3.) She’s not here anymore
We tend to think of the “dead” as either asleep or in some far off place. My studies show otherwise. Those who have crossed the veil are very much interested in and involved in our lives. There are here guiding us. They send us signs. They are coordinating synchronicities. I hear from Shayna regularly, in various ways, through all kinds of people and events. Shayna remains a part of my daily life. I wake up each day and tell her good morning. I tell her good night every night. And, while it’s not the same as having her physical presence, it helps me to remember points 1 and 2. Death was not the end of Shayna, and I will see her again.
It’s simple but not easy to overcome these three thoughts that will keep you stuck in grief. Remind yourself on a daily basis that these thoughts are not only harmful, they are not true.